#she wouldn't know the amount of lives we lived since that letter

[notlivys]

i literally received a letter from my old self i sent LIKE 10 YEARS AGO ???? and apart from the emotional shock it just gave me it's so funny the way i was already threatening myself to stay with 1d forever.

yeah girl we are still here. little old me. you couldn't even begin to imagine the things we lived since this silly letter.

yes i'm happy here, i never stopped missing friends and hometown tho. yep i reached some dreams. yes we're still writing and dancing🥹🥹. we are not friends anymore. yes we told her we love her, she loved us for a long time too we still do, but we don't know if she still feels the same. we miss her very much.

and YES we are still directioners, we are trying to move past a really heartbreaking time you wouldn't have even imagined :( but yeah we are still here. probably will always be.

this is ur sign to write a letter to your future self y'all it's SO healing !!!

[beatrizzzzzzzzza]

Turn it to fate if you can't feel as yours right now

1. success stories.

THE CAR

This manifestation story happened to my mom. I'll give some context: she's 43, and before her 41, she never had a car, but this was her biggest dream. Sometime after discovering the law of attraction that time we didn't even know about the assumptions but anyway, she wanted to try to make this dream come true; she wrote letters to the universe, did methods, and all the stuff; at some point, she got tired of trying and never get a car, she got upset and gave up for a while.

A few times after all she decided she would get a car no matter what, she chose the car she wanted, got some pics on Pinterest to make a vision board, and decided the exact period she would get the car, she said:

— until July 13th I will have my car.

That's what she did, she had three months left to get the car, over this period we started to see a lot of the same kind of cars in the same color she wanted when I had never seen that kind of car before. It was crazy; she stopped with the methods and never did anything besides look at her car's pics sometimes and imagine; it was because she knew she would get the car no matter what. Time passed, and we didn't even notice when the right amount of money appeared in her bank account; it was simple there. The exact day she got the car was the exact day she supposed, the 13th of July. Of course, we were amazed and very happy.

THE PERFECT SCENARIO

When I was younger, I used to hate the place I lived; I hated that a lot because of a lot of things. Since I was a kid, I used to create fake scenarios in my head before sleep, and in all these scenarios I was living in an apartment in a better neighborhood. A time passed, and when I was 14, my mom and I got the habit of going to parks to spend the day; all the parks were a bit far from where we lived, but even so, It happened very often. When we were in the parks, we always said:

— Wouldn't be cool if we lived in one apartment close to a park? We could have a dog and have nice picnics.

We did it a lot of times, and we didn't know about the low of attraction or assumption at that time, but since I hated the place I lived, I always knew that one day in my life, I would live in an apartment. A year after we started to imagine, we moved to an apartment close to a park two days before I turned 15. Now we have a cute dog and nice picnics.

2. Turning your desire to fate

As you just read, in both of the stories, a wish was made to happen; in the end, just the knowing feeling was enough to make the dream come true. As you know the sense of knowing that you have your desire now is what leads us to manifest, but in both stories, we were aware we didn't have our desires in 3d, so, what to do when you persist in "I can't feel as if I have my desire right now"

I know some many people are still can't feel as if they have their desires in the present moment, and so you can find my post "🍊 imagining oranges" where i try to explain you it. But if you read it and yet can't feel your desire I wish you to stay here a while and listen to me.

¹ what you know: first of all I want you to remember one of the things you already know; when you have your manifestation in 4D, it will be in 3d; the fact is, you don't get your desires because you are focused on the lack of 3d, this happens because when you are focused in 3d you can't see, or touch your desire.

² how can you fulfill the lack if you can't feel or imagine your desires: change the way you talk about your desires. When you look to 3d and see the reflections of your old assumptions and react to it as if it will never gonna change, this is what you will receive, the same of your current 3d.

If you can't change "I don't have it" to "I have it" change "I don't have it" to "I'm gonna have it"

Imagine the word gonna as an arrival point, as fate where you, of course, will be enjoying your desire.

If you were a kid and your parents said:

— we are gonna go to Disneyland on vacation.

Disneyland is your fate; the day when you will be there will come one day or another, and you know that, so you don't need to worry about the time between you and Disneyland because it no longer exists when the arrival point is right in front of you. Now you know you will go to Disneyland you will not have to struggle to check all the time if your tickets are there or not, you know you will go to Disneyland, your parents told you that, they will care about the tickets, not you, the only thing you should do is to daydream about what kind of photos you will take there, what food you will eat there, what rides you will go, what gifts you will buy on Disney's stores. Imagine you are at the arrival point, which is now your fate because when you have tickets to Disneyland, there is no other place for you to go on vacation as long as you want.

³ if it's fate it's yours: now you know your desires are fate, it means in one time in the future you have it already, it can be one day, two months, or one year, and that is up to you, the important is to you to have the knowing feeling that this is your fate, it is going to happen of course and so you don't need to check up the 3d all the time when you know that when you desire come you will see it anyway. Take off the worrying about your shoulders.

This is what happened to my stories. My mom decided she wanted a car, and this was her fate, even if she couldn't see it in 3d. We moved to an apartment because we turned it our fate with the feeling that one day it would be true, and you who can't feel your desire as yours now, can do it too! Just decide your fate and chill.

Turn "I don't have" to "I will have"

If it's fate it's yours right now.

12.18.24

[icarusbetide]

why it's okay that hamilton the musical is terribly inaccurate

i'm feverish so none of this will make any sense, but i wanted to get it down somewhere before i lose all train of thought. a lot of hamilton the musical's discrepancies with the historical record make sense if you remind yourself that it's inherently meta. it's equally about our perception of these figures and their legacies than the figures themselves. not sure how much of that is deliberate - i would argue a fair amount, since the play is literally haunted by history. "history has its eyes on you", "history obliterates", "who lives who dies who tells your story". and that's going to bleed into their musical characterization and relationships. the musical exaggerates and caricatures them, and is self-aware of its tamperings. the way burr as a narrator expresses the same frustrations we feel, not being in the room where it happened. how it puts words into eliza's mouth and speculates that she burned the letters because of the reynolds pamphlet, and she wanted to keep it from us.

alexander hamilton was not jumpy, awkward, and incredibly abrasive in real life. he was all accounts charming, and apparently even aloof in certain situations. but his writing was aggressive, heavy-handed. we all know when that led to disaster. his written work aka his largest legacy informs the character we see.

same thing with burr. it's really funny because musical burr is so shy and quiet compared to his real-life counterpart who was charming, popular with the ladies, and very hilariously unhinged. but it makes sense. because when we think of burr, we think of a guy who doesn't believe in anything, who quietly slipped through the political parties, etc. and that's the personality he carries.

and that's why washington plays a different role in hamilton compared to washington in turn. we aren't supposed to get close to him, seeing his temper or his flaws. washington in the musical is always above everyone else, spectating. he's even in the background of "my shot", watching hamilton contemplatively before nodding and slipping away. obviously he wouldn't have been aware of hamilton during the new york pamphlet era; most likely he wasn't serving as a father figure during hamilton's wedding, fixing his collar. but historically, washington's quiet support did allow hamilton to move forward with his political goals - in the musical that bleeds into their personal relationship and physical staging. he's often looming over hamilton in some way. i'd even say that some people very convincely argue that in hamilton's perspective, washington is the most important person in the musical. he's the person hamilton is most often watching. and washington probably was the most important relationship hamilton cultivated.

probably the most egregious example would be jefferson, whose shy personality is not explored at all in the musical. but the cock-fighting, taunting, flamboyant jefferson next to hamilton on stage? that's their political, newspaper rivalry for sure. they have to be seen as equals, and in a musical format, that means jefferson needs to be hamilton's equal in rapping, fighting.

i mean, the entire plot follows the relationship of alexander and aaron burr over the years in a parallel doom situation. it's probably wildly inaccurate! burr wasn't hamilton's first friend, and though they did work together and were apparently on good terms for some time, i doubt burr lived his life obsessively following hamilton's career. but our understanding and speculation on their relationship is heavily influenced by their end - and so the musical versions of the characters seem pre-ordained to reach weehawken. burr has to be in hamilton's shadow, burr has to believe in hamilton's greatness more faithfully than any other character; their fates have to be tied together, because they are tied together in death. you'll never be able to separate alexander hamilton from aaron burr.

and musical burr knows that. he knows history obliterates, and the picture it will paint. hamilton's so much a play about how we try to rationalize/dig into these human people that we unfortunately will never really know. i still think there are flaws that weren't deliberate, but that's another story.

i'll probably elaborate/edit this later. it's already a shitton of run-on sentences lmaoo.

[severus-snaps]

so I was reading this post and since what it made me think about is only really tangentially related i thought i'd just. waffle in a separate post

specifically, what got me thinking was this part:

There is no excuse for how [Petunia] treated Harry, but she also didn't ask for this. Honestly, *someone* could have explained how to handle a magical child safely. It probably wouldn't have helped, but no one even tried to hand her the tools (which is very much in line with how wizards operate in general. Muggle safety just doesn't bother them, and children's rights lol).

whilst Muggle safety certainly doesn't seem to be the wizarding world's top concern, they are extremely strict about upholding the Statute of Secrecy:

“But what does a Ministry of Magic do?” “Well, their main job is to keep it from the Muggles that there’s still witches an’ wizards up an’ down the country.”

meanwhile, and apparently in direct opposition to this goal, Muggle-born - or otherwise magical kids living in Muggle areas, like Harry/Snape/Tom Riddle - are just left out there doing all sorts of quite obvious things (un)intentionally:

moving objects without touching them (Tom)

controlling animals without training them (Tom)

causing harm to people who annoy them (Tom)

snapping branches to land on people (Sev)

floating/flying (Lily; Harry)

manipulating flower petals (Lily)

turning a teacher’s wig blue (Harry)

shrinking a jumper so it wouldn't fit (Harry)

regrowing hair overnight (Harry)

speaking to a snake in Parseltongue (Harry)

making glass vanish to free the snake (Harry)

that's examples from precisely four kids, most of whom we don't spent a huge amount of time with as kids in the book - and presumably kids like Tom and Lily had done this multiple more times each, having an advanced control of wandless magic for their age - and the wizarding world just sort of... hopes that nobody will notice probably hundreds of kids doing weird stuff like that every year, ever since the statute was introduced, with more and more examples year on year?

I know the series' treatment of Muggles in general leaves a lot to be desired (as does JKR's worldbuilding), and Muggles are "not completely stupid" (read: are typically really stupid) and can't or won't see anything relating to magic as actually magical... but it's still an absolutely insane political decision on behalf of the Ministry to essentially just hope for the best until Hogwarts sends a letter at age eleven. eleven years!! tens/hundreds of kids per year!! it's their main job!! to keep it a secret!! and they do not contact these students!! or their parents!! until the age of eleven!!! that must be actually HUNDREDS of students doing weird magical stuff with absolutely no explanation, just waiting to be seen - and that's to say nothing that multiple years of pre-Hogwarts children are out there wreaking havoc, plus some who accidentally/intentionally use magic even at Hogwarts age (Harry blowing up his aunt vs Snape shooting down flies in his room).

sure, we can say that anyone who speaks up will be ridiculed in the Muggle world - but why not, just for the sake of calming the secretive waters, send a few Arthur types out to say, this is fine, actually, and please keep it a secret? And, if we're going extra-canon, there's a whole book that could be used to try and stop this from ever becoming a problem, plus magic to ensure the secret was never spilled - even if the Muggle parents wanted to, say, go to the press with their magical toddler.

I know it wasn't really so much of a concern back when the books were written, but these days, you can absolutely guarantee something like that would be filmed eventually - and although the Muggles (said with appropriately derogatory wizarding disgust) would probably put it down to camera trickery, the Ministry are entirely unequipped to handle magic being documented using Muggle technology.

Taking a slightly more unhinged approach to this, think of how this might play out with that certain kind of New Age or otherwise highly religious parent with a magical child, or even - god forbid - antivaxxers. (Imagine the very specific subset of Muggle parents who will surely convince themselves that vaccines give you magic because accidental magic starts happening around the same age 😂)

In any case, accidental magic would end up on all sorts of forums and private facebook pages, and the Ministry worker who's never encountered a computer struggling to even so much as open a laptop and see how badly their tip-top secret has been leaked to the Muggles

And, since I've been watching a lot of X Files recently, how long does it take for one of these kids to be taken and/or experimented on? Or become some religious/cult figure? Who's to say they haven't been before?

Anyway I was just thinking about how insane it is that nobody ever thought to say, hey, there might be a better approach than just abandoning these kids to being weird little uncontrolled magical vessels magic-ing in plain sight which is completely at odds with our supposedly deeply-important, government's-highest-priority secret

[clare-875]

Until The End (Levi x Reader)- Chapter 29

[Retreiving Eren]

_____ A/N: Posted on Wattpad (@CLARE_875) but also decided to post here :)

Summary: "You can push me away, but I will still fight by you, and I will still follow you… until the end."

The ever-so-stoic Levi Ackerman has only ever known the terrors that living in a cruel world could bring. This all changed one fateful day when he encountered [y/n]; a girl renowned for her looks and abnormal speed. As they escape the confines of the Underground together, they soon discover that freedom doesn't come easy in a world full of Titans. As they rise through the ranks, [y/n] becomes known as "Humanity's Angel", a beacon of hope to humanity as she melts the walls Levi had built around his heart. However, she has her secrets too, and a dark past that might just threaten to pull them apart.

The storyline and characters of Attack on Titan do NOT belong to me, but all to Hajime Isayama; however, I do own this story, and all that occurs disparate to that storyline.

[Series Masterlist] [Chapter Twenty-Eight] <--> [Chapter Thirty] _____

Warnings: Descriptions of blood, injury, death, Canonical Violence.

[Two years Later]

You stood in the dark streets of Marley listening as music rose from a distance, your fingers intertwined with Levi's as he had a grim expression on his face. You had been getting letters from Eren this past year, telling you all of the situation in Marley, and now you and the Scouts had arrived due to his hasty proclamation that he was going to initiate his plan this very evening. If it weren't for the efforts of your squad begging we come to Marley to help him, we wouldn't be here. Yelena was already planted amongst the raging crowds of people, to deter and confine the warriors in Marley, namely the Cart and Jaw Titans, trying to hinder their presence in the battle. The Scouts now all stay hidden in the shadows, waiting for the signal to attack. You let out a deep sigh as Levi squeezed your hand gently. How had it all come to this?

But you know. 

It had almost been a year since you and your squad visited Marley and with it came the sudden absence of Eren who had abruptly disappeared before you were set to go back to Paradis Island. The letter he sent had been a declaration. The declaration that he of all people, trusted Zeke and that he was going to attack Libero, the city of Marley. You listen as the music dwindles and the faint voice of a man talking in the distance quietens. You suddenly feel the trembling quake of the Earth, faint but there. You then hear the unmistakable roar of a Titan in the distance: Eren. You turn to Levi, a questioning gaze etched on your face. Were we really going to do this? But he meets your eyes with a look of grim actualisation; we had to. You turn to your squad who silently approaches you, releasing Levi's grip and giving each other one more reassuring gaze before he speaks up. "Let's go!" 

..... 

Your eyes widen at the sight in front of you. The debris caused by Eren's sudden transformation had not only caused the deaths of soldiers and world leaders but also of innocent civilians and children. This was what you had all wanted to refrain from happening: to reduce the amount of casualties caused by this plan. But Eren seemed to take things in his own stride. ‘I know this is the enemy, I have mourned so many Scouts and friends they have killed. But if we kill those not directly responsible, isn't that just the reflection of what they have done to us all this time, fearing us for what happened over a century ago?’ You shake away your dark thoughts as you retrieve a gun from your waist noticing soldiers pointing theirs your way. The internal conflict would have to wait for later, you were amid the beginnings of war.

You fly through the air, your ODM gear whirring as you kill soldiers who try to kill you and your fellow Scouts, moving too fast for them to track or see. You keep doing so until you see Eren's form protruding from his impaled Titan, facing the War Hammer Titan. You call out to Mikasa who joins your side, whizzing through the air preparing the new weapons that allow you to shoot four Thunder Spears at once. The both of you rise upwards, as you see the War Hammer Titan prepare to strike Eren, and you aim for its knees as Mikasa shoots her spears into its nape. You attach to a distance and you both pull the triggers simultaneously causing a series of massive explosions as the Titan falls. The both of you then turn in the dark sky, landing on Eren's Titan next to his figure.

"You guys actually came."

Eren's eyes look to both of us, his voice reaching the tense air among the distant sound of gunshots and explosions that ascend around us. You frown at him, as Mikasa speaks up, a grim but desperate expression on her face. "Eren, please... Come home." He stares at her unblinkingly, emotions hidden between the blankness of his eyes. You speak now, face harder than Mikasa's as you look at him. "Eren... Do you have any idea what you've done? You killed civilians. You killed children, too. You've done things that can't ever be undone." Mikasa falls to her knees as she looks at the man you know she loves but Eren faces forward at the War Hammer Titan, who you notice is still moving despite thinking that Mikasa's blow should've stopped it fully. Mikasa seems to notice too as her eyes follow our gaze to the Titan.

"Impossible... I blew away its nape!" Mikasa stutters out watching as the War Hammer Titan struggles in its recovery. "And I crushed it with my strength," Eren continues in a bland tone, "yet, it's not dead." Your eyes widen as you watch as the War Hammer Titan now conjures a bow and arrow in a flash of bright white light. "Mikasa, grab Eren," you say quickly as you both attach your hand-held ODM gear to a nearby tower. You barely make it in time as an arrow impales Eren's Titan where you all stood just seconds ago. You land as they follow onto a platform overlooking the Titan and Eren speaks up once more. "The War Hammer Titan... It uses hardening to make whatever it needs. That must be why it won't die, no matter what we do. I need both of you to distract its attention. If this works, I can eat the War Hammer Titan."

Your frown doesn't waver at his words, wondering if the man in front of you should hold even more power than he already has, but you ultimately decide it's the only play you have right now. Mikasa nods at Eren's words as she meets your conflicted gaze, "Let's go," you say reluctantly. The both of you take off, approaching the War Hammer Titan who pauses at the two of you flying towards it. It now conjures a sword in its grasp as it prepares to swing. You doge easily and you see Mikasa doing the same. You grab another round of Thunder Spears shooting at its ankles causing it to lose its balance further and you see Mikasa fire her own shots. The both of you twirl and whizz around the Titan, causing it to wave around frantically as it tries to stop you. You shoot again at its eyes, watching it throw innumerable weapons blindly at you. You run across buildings attaching and detaching to the Titan.

Many moments pass until you see a golden glow fill the air and Eren transforms into his Titan once more. Eren rips into the ground, as he realises the Titan you had been fighting transformed from the feet up, not from its nape. As you land at a nearby building, you watch as sure enough, Eren grabs a woman within a crystallised substance from underneath the concreted pavement, much like Annie was. He detaches it from the Titan, causing it to collapse and remain unmoving without its holder connected. Mikasa lands by your side as well, and you notice your squad members have also approached. They had the task of placing lights among the buildings to help Hange with our extraction. All of you look to Eren who slowly brings the woman towards his mouth, intent on trying to crush the crystal structure and consume the holder of the War Hammer Titan. And he almost does, if not for the Jaw Titan having silently crept up to him. 

You have no time to react as it opens its jaws to Eren's nape. Your heart hammers, but then you see it, the flash of dark raven hair and a familiar form. Levi slices through the jaw of the Jaw Titan, which had chomped down on Eren's nape, but not fully, leaving it stuck and unable to chew down. You watch as Levi lands on the ground before turning and flying back through the air. Eren reacts to the opportunity given to him, moving as he shoves the Jaw Titan off of him. They struggle against each other until the Jaw Titan breaks free from Eren's deathly grip attempting to retreat but Levi reacts again shooting a thunder spear towards it causing it to fall to the ground. Your partner lands on a nearby building, meeting your eyes briefly as you see the silent relief that you are unharmed. There is a deep tense silence that follows before all hell starts to break loose. 

You watch a glow descend from Eren's grasp as the War Hammer Titan impales Eren's Titan once again in a gleaming blast. You watch as the Jaw Titan slowly recovers from Levi's attacks. You notice the glowing light that reflects upon the eyes of the Cart Titan upon a roof. You feel the tremor of the ground beneath and sure enough, you turn and see the Beast Titan slowly approaching the area. You take in a deep breath, tensing, before Zeke's voice rises through the air from his Titan. "Let none escape. Kill 'em all!" You land next to Levi as the rest of the Scouts follow you. Levi meets your gaze before he unsheathes his swords looking to the enemy. "Don't die on me. Survive!" The rest of the Scouts yell out in confirmation. One moment passes and then Levi's off, you following in his actions. 

Mikasa goes to Eren's side shooting thunder spears at the crystallised form around the War Titan's holder but to no avail. Scouts try to attack the Beast Titan only to be killed by the Cart Titan, the guns on its back manned by soldiers causing carnage. Other Scouts go to kill the Cart Titan, trying to find its blind spot, only to be massacred by the Jaw Titan. There is devastation all around you as blood is spilt on the warzone. Levi hides in the shadows awaiting what you know to be the perfect moment to carry out the plan. You now see that Mikasa had given up on destroying the crystal protecting the War Hammer Titan, as instead, Eren's Titan now bites against the crystalline form. But he stops when blood spills from his mouth, realising it is fruitless. Eren jumps from his impaled Titan, before transforming for a third time. You return to your own battle, swinging through the air, but you are forced to quickly retreat when the Beast Titan deals its iconic blow, crushing stones within its grasp and throwing them towards you. 

You were running out of time. 

You clench your teeth as you dodge and land again on a rooftop hearing Zeke speak what you had just been thinking. "Eren Jaeger is not my enemy. Someone else comes first. Show yourself, Levi. You're running out of time." But Zeke's words dwindle under the suddenly trembling Earth. You look to your side quickly and there is an abrupt, tremendous glow as a huge eruption occurs from a distance away. You turn away as waves of heat and harsh pressure from the explosion reverberate around you even miles away. It was Armin. The shadows of battleships rise with his transformation as he destroys the port. The wind howls and the light is unbearable but you manage to stay put through it all. Finally, as the smoke rises and light fades you see the Colossal Titan's ginormous form causing havoc. The Jaw Titan reacts to the devastation in a fit of rage, suddenly sprinting towards Eren on all fours. The Scouts move through the air, but that is when Levi takes the moment of distraction to react. 

He appears from the shadows, but only for an instant. 

He slices through the nape of the Beast Titan and it falls to the ground. 

You also start your attack as the Cart Titan starts to shoot once more killing your Scouts after Zeke's fall takes everyone by surprise. You try to ignore the yells of your comrades as they fall, but unlike them, you are too fast for bullets. You twisted and turned, quickly making your way to each four of the metal compartments atop the Cart Titan, where Marleyan Soldiers controlled the guns atop its back. You drop a grenade in each of the compartments. There is a massive explosion as the guns on the Cart Titan cease movement, the Titan freezing in shock. The wave of the blast reverberates as the Titan stumbles before its eyes flash to you in rage, no doubt for having killed its teammates. "You'll pay for that!" The Titan rages as they reach out a hand to you but you dodge easily. You land in front of the Titan that starts to sprint towards you. You quickly react, however, grabbing two thunder spears and impaling them in its eyes, causing it to fall. "Now!" You yell, and Jean, along with other Scouts rise from the shadows, shooting their thunder spears at the Titan, causing a horrific explosion. 

You don't look back. 

You take the distraction and the fall of the Titan to retreat with your squadmates as you fly through the air once more. Levi had evidently completed his part of the plan, it was time for the escape. You look up, just as you expected, the blimp, an aircraft that Hange and the Marleyan Engineers had helped to build loomed over us, using the lights the Scouts had planted earlier for guidance. "Retreat!" You yell to your Scouts who immediately follow your orders flying off to the checkpoint. The blimp wouldn't return, if you were late for the escape, you or any other soldier would be left behind in Marley. You quickly scan the field just in time to see that Eren's Titan has the Jaw Titan in his grasp, forcing its jaws to close on the crystalline structure of the War Hammer Titan's holder. As it breaks in the jaws of the Titan, Eren lifts it, swallowing the blood that held the Titan's powers. 

You grit your teeth, but fly towards the blimp behind the Scouts, with the enemy Titans gone and Mikasa by his side, you knew they would catch up. But your thoughts are more on the fact that now, Eren held the powers of not only the Attack Titan and the Founding Titan... but also the War Hammer Titan. 

..... 

When you attach to the blimp, Levi meets you there awaiting your return, taking out a hand and pulling you in safely. His eyes hold worry as always but you manage a weak smile and he uses the other soldiers' departure to kiss your hand gently. He searches your eyes for any sort of discomfort or pain, but you are blatantly unharmed and he lets his relief fill him. "Damn Eren," he mutters under his breath frown tugging his lips downwards, "bringing us into an impulsive fight like that... too many died." You join his frown, looking down, thinking of the subordinates you lost but also the countless number of innocent casualties. You reach deep into your gear into a small compartment, retrieving your wedding ring and slipping it back onto your finger. Levi's gaze softens at the sight, his own ring flickering in the dim light of the room. "At least we're okay," you say softly, kissing his cheek, before pulling away as Armin approaches your vicinity. 

You stand by Levi as he opens the door of the blimp and ODM gear sounds from outside. You watch as Armin lends out a hand, and brings in Eren's form, his green eyes looking up from below you as he makes his way into the blimp. He's still on his knees by the entrance when Levi speaks. "Damn, you're a filthy sight... You fall into a pile of shit? Eren..." Levi's gaze is hard but Eren's stare is blank as he looks at him. You watch a flash of rage fill Levi's face before he kicks Eren across the room, him slumping against the wall. Mikasa looks up in shock as she now enters, moving to go forward but Armin holds her back. Levi walks to Eren, two Scouts pointing their guns at the man as you follow silently behind him. 

"This brings back memories, Eren. You have such a kickable face." Levi says his tone bored but threatening. "After you're all tied up, we'll have a chat." There is a brief silence as Eren speaks up again, long strands of brunette hair falling onto his face as he looks at the wooden floor. "That's fine, but I explained everything in the letters." He then looks up slowly, "Did you not understand it?" Eren has a challenging expression on his face as Levi looks at him with a deathly glare and a look of almost regret; he looks down at the man you know he had obviously cared for despite his harsh and unbreakable facade. You had all cared for Eren. He had been a part of your squad for many years, been with you when you lost Petra and your squad, you had both watched him train as a Titan and a Scout, you had both trusted him and placed your hope in him and now... he looked to you both as though lost in his arrogance. He lost the respect he used to hold for his Captains. In turn, he lost your respect... and Levi's. 

"That face..." Levi says lowly, as he looks to Eren. "It reminds me of the rotten shits who lived Underground." There is a brief pause as Eren still looks at you both emotionlessly. "Never thought I'd see it on you." You suppress a deep sigh as you look at him. Humanity's Hope, it was like this was all some twisted joke. "Cheer up. Everything happened like you wanted..." Levi drags Eren to the doorway to another room, the two Scouts with guns retreating away as they see him in the Captain's grip. You turn briefly when you hear the door of the blimp open once more. 

You see Sasha, Connie and Jean reunite, looking happily at each other, seeing each of them had survived. You smile at them fondly. At least some of your Scouts remained unchanged... honourable and good soldiers. They notice your gaze, a bittersweet look on their faces as they turn to you. You nod to them and they return your gesture. "Look after the remaining Scouts before securing the blimp," you say to them as Levi pulls Eren to the door. They nod to you and just as you turn Sasha calls out to you. "Hey Captain, when we return surely you'll treat us to some meat right?" You turn back, seeing the look of brief joy that always fills her face at the mention of food. You smile despite the situation as Levi waits for you patiently, slight calmness in his gaze as he sees your lips upturn amid the tragic night.

"Sure Sasha, we'll see." 

When you and Levi take Eren to the other room you hear Scouts yelling out in their supposed victory, Sasha laughing happily at your reply. However, as Levi throws Eren next to a familiar man, you sense the atmosphere darkens once more. "Zeke..." you mutter lowly as the man you hadn't seen in three years looks up to you, limbs severed but eyes gleaming under the dim lights. "[y/n]... it's been a while..." His eyes then flicker to the ring on Levi's finger and yours, gaze widening slightly as Mikasa and Armin enter, Yelena also standing by Eren's side. "So I was right in assuming that day..." He mutters, and you remember how he had singled out Levi in conversation when you had been in Marley with him. You tense at his words as Levi unsheathes his sword pointing it to Zeke with a harsh glare. "You might wanna shut up... you're only alive as long as you're useful." He says darkly as he steps slightly in front of you. 

"What? Can't a man congratulate his cousin on their marriage-" Levi pushes the sword harshly against Zeke's throat causing the man to stop and struggle, coughing out blood. You watch as Levi's face turns murderous as he remembers how the man in front of him took you away from him so easily and turned his life into hell. He remembers your tears when you two were finally reconciled after a year, the way you seemed so small when you returned to him. He wanted to kill him badly. He wanted to do it after all he had made him go through, and to finally fulfil the last vow he had taken for Erwin after asking him to die and give up on his dreams. He could do it, right now. The others look at Levi tensely as they observe his intentions, but he relents as you touch his shoulder gently bringing him back to grim reality. Levi lets out a deep sigh as he sheathes his sword back into his gear, dark eyes still not leaving Zeke's form. 

..... 

The next time the door to the room opens you are at a loss. 

Levi had been muttering to you that the Scouts had seemed rowdy even after their initial proclamations of victory. You had agreed, not knowing why your uneasiness had not been stifled even as you knew you were high above enemy ground and making your way back home. You had both turned along with the rest of the people present in the room when Jean opened the door. Two kids were tied up with ropes tightly around them, bloodied and beaten. One was a small girl with dark brown hair and green eyes, rage evident in her features. The other was a boy with unkempt blond hair and wide hazel eyes, dread on his face. Jean's face is grim as he brings them into the room, and you watch as the two children scan the room, eyes widening in shock as they look to Yelena, then Eren and finally... Zeke. 

Zeke's eyes also flicker in surprise as he looks at them. "Gabi... Falco...? Why are you here?" There is a slight pause before Falco, the boy, speaks up. "Why? Why are you?" But Gabi interrupts contrasting the dread and mistrust in Falco's eyes with wild relief. "You're alive?! Why did you let them capture you?!" There is a dreadful and tense silence. Levi steps forward and away from where you both had been leaning against the wall as Jean speaks up looking to his Captain. "They killed Lobov and used his gear to come aboard," he replies grimly, but his next words are what causes your heart to drop. "Sasha was shot by the one here. I don't think she's going to make it." Jean looks to Gabi, face contorting to one of complete loss. 

Mikasa and Armin instantly move running out of the room, Levi tenses at the words, and you are speechless. You feel your weight become fully dependent on the wall behind you, but you can't bring yourself to move. You struggle to maintain the emotions threatening to break free, reminding yourself you're a Captain, but all you can think about is Sasha. Your squad member... your friend. What? No, calm down, this can't be right it's Sasha... Sasha, the woman that had been through so much, Sasha who fought Titans, Sasha who had been through countless battles, Sasha...killed by a bullet... by a kid? The door to the Control Room suddenly opens, revealing Hange's form. "It's all you, Onyankopon," they say before turning to us after hearing his shout of affirmation. 

"Well? Did everything play out as you hoped, Zeke Jaeger?" Hange speaks not noticing the tragic news you had just been dealt, but Gabi and Falco look in dread to Zeke at the implications of their words. "For the most part, but there were a few miscalculations," Zeke replies, staring intently at the two children in front of him, who stutter his name in disbelief at the fact he was working with us; their enemy. Hange finally notices the two in Jean's grasp. "Huh? What are these kids?" There is a brief pause as Zeke replies. "Miscalculations." There is a deep silence before the sound of Jean's yell shrouded with rage fills the room, causing you to tense. "YELENA! What the hell happened to trapping the Cart and Jaw Titans?! People died because of you!" 

Yelena merely has a grim look on her face as she looks at Jean. "I'm sorry. I assure you they fell down the hole, but it's still my fault." Levi now speaks, a dark expression on his face. "And to cover for that slip-up, the Beast chucked more rocks at us than planned. That was some clever improv for a clown like you. Wouldn't you say, hairball?" Zeke meets Levi's deathly stare. "Don't glare at me like that, Levi. What if I piss my pants? And you're quite the actor yourself, considering you want to kill me so bad." Levi approaches Zeke once more and you look up silently at the sight, barely allowing yourself to truly care about their arguments anymore... there were more things on your mind. "I'm the kind of person who saves the best bite for last," Levi says lowly, "I like to savour the taste." Eren's voice now reaches the air in the dark atmosphere of the room. "We killed the Marley brass and destroyed their port and fleet. That should buy us some time." 

You frown, "Until the whole world launches a joint attack on Paradis?" You ask finally speaking up as Eren's deadpan eyes meet yours. Hange's eyes gleam in agreement. "Every time you're caught by the enemy, we sacrifice lives to get you back. No matter how many it takes. And yet knowing that, you went so far to make yourself a hostage... Just like you hoped, we didn't have much choice. You put your trust in us and we lost our trust in you." Hange's words linger in the air until Zeke looks up from where he sits, speaking. "But now we have the Founding Titan and a Titan with royal blood.” He eyes you subtly before continuing. “The cost of those sacrifices will be paid through Eldia's freedom." There is a tense silence when the door to the room opens once more, revealing Connie. Your heart thrums but you see the loss and pain etched on his face, you hear the distant yells of Armin and Mikasa. 

"Sasha... is dead." 

You see the tears pour from Connie's eyes, you feel yourself bite your lip so hard you're sure you can taste blood as you look down forcing yourself to composure and knowing you're failing. The silence is long, as everyone's faces are one of grim grief. "Connie." Eren's voice fills the quiet of the room. "Did Sasha... have any last words?" Connie's voice breaks as his eyes stare hauntingly at you all, shock on his features. "She said... meat." Your heart breaks. You hear a trembling sound come from Eren, which turns into a soft laugh. "Eren..." Jean speaks looking ghostly as he stares at the man. "Sasha only died because you dragged the Scouts into this." You watch as Eren starts to grit his teeth, face low and trying to hide the look of devastation on his face. But you have had enough. You push yourself off the wall, keeping your head low, face dark as you walk across the room going to the door. 

You ignore the look of grief and yet concern that Levi gives you as you go past the door and out of the room. You make your way to Mikasa and Armin who have their heads on the floor, sobbing. You look past them to see the brunette who had been laughing and looking at you, sparks of life in her eyes just minutes ago. She had her eyes closed, bandages wrapped countless times around her torso but for naught as blood seeped from past them, soaking her abdomen. Blood trickled from her mouth and you knelt by her side, holding Mikasa in comfort as she sobbed into your chest, inconsolable. You held Sasha's hand, one last time, breath constricting at the feeling of it so cold against your own. You do your best to comfort your squad members who join you in silent gestures as they grieve her presence heavily. You fight your tears but a lone one escapes. You meet eyes with Levi who also enters the room, looking at the sight at a complete loss. 

You mourn the loss of your squad member... with your squad.

_____

[Chapter Twenty-Eight] <--> [Chapter Thirty]

Tags: @batboygirlie 

[hwabang]

Break Up + Make Up - Yang Jungwon

Summary: You ended your relationship with Jungwon because HYBE told you to. After a lot of mutual heartbreak and some dangerous situations, you realize this was all a big stupid fucking misunderstanding

Genre: angst + fluff ending

Warnings: fem!reader, idol!reader x idol!jungwon, '03 reader, established relationship, breakup, cursing, arguing, dieting, fainting, starvation, mention of weight, bad eating habits, slight mentions of poor mental health, hospital, mention of sasaeng/crazy engenes lol, reader breaks jungwon's heart but temporarily!, one slight mention of reader not being korean, exes to lovers

Author’s Note: feeling angsty lol. i kinda wanna make "break up + make up" a series for the enhypen members i write for, let me know if you'd be interested!

Word Count: ~ 6k (oop)

NOTICE: (the names used for side characters are fake names, with the exception of the enhypen members. the fake names don't represent any real life characters.)

(gif not mine!)

You and Jungwon have been dating for 4 months now, but you two have been in love with each other for a while. The only thing that had stopped you from dating earlier is the fact that Jungwon's a year younger than you, and neither of you wanted to talk about the feelings until he became an adult in Korea.

Unfortunately, last month some pictures of you and Jungwon on a date were leaked, but your companies decided to go ahead and confirm the relationship since both ENHYPEN and your group were doing quite well right now. You were expecting the hate from crazy fans, but you weren't expecting as much support as you guys were getting. It was an overwhelming amount of love and you two couldn't be more happier.

People who didn't know you and Jungwon would say you two are moving too fast, but the ones who know you well know that you two have been head over heels in love with each other for so long. Sure, your relationship is very established and you two are really serious for a 4 month couple, but who cares? You and Jungwon are taking it at the pace that feels right, and since you two are fully committed to each other and love each other immensely, nothing wrong with moving "too fast".

Currently you were tidying up your dorm with the rest of your members. Today marks the first couple of days you guys get off, and some cleaning of the dorm was much needed right now so that was everyone's first task. After this you were prepared to spend the next 4 off days with your precious Wonnie.

"Hey Y/N," your bandmate Mijeong called out, walking back into the dorm. "Come here?"

You turned the sink off and patted your hands dry then walked into the living room. "Yeah what's up?"

"I just went to pick up our mail and you have a letter from HYBE."

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. "HYBE? And it's addressed to me?"

"Yeah, look." She handed the letter to me while sorting through everything else.

"Huh that's weird.. I'll open it later. Anything else for me?"

"Uh.. no more letters, but the front desk said you have a package from (your/country) downstairs; maybe your parents sent you something."

You nodded relaying the information. "Great, I'll go pick it up later. Thanks Mijeong-ah."

You went back to washing and drying the dishes; your last task for today. Once you were done, you took the letter up to your room. Your roommate was doing the laundry so you had a couple minutes to yourself. You sat on your bed and sighed, opening the letter not thinking much of it. Oh how wrong you were.

"Y/N-ssi,

"Hello, this is HYBE Corporation.

We are sending you this letter to inform you that you must end your relationship with our artist, ENHYPEN's Jungwon, as soon as possible.

The relationship being out in the public has decreased ENHYPEN's popularity and put our artists' safety at risk. Furthermore, Jungwon-ssi seems to be losing his focus a lot more after your relationship started. You both have worked very hard to get where you are; we wouldn't want either of your careers being sabotaged because of this relationship.

We kindly request that you end your relationship with him without letting him know that we have asked you to do so. Once you have done so and Jungwon-ssi lets us know, HYBE will personally put out a statement confirming your breakup to the public.

We understand that this might be tough for you to do so. It is solely for the sake of both your group's and ENHYPEN's careers that you all worked so hard for. Idols don't date for this reason; it's quite hard to maintain personal and professional lives. If you start to receive backlash or dangerous threats for the breakup, HYBE Corporation will provide you and your members with top notch security.

Thank you for understanding and for your cooperation.

Best regards,

HYBE Corporation & ENHYPEN Team"

Hot tears were streaming down your face. HYBE wants you to breakup with Jungwon without letting him know they're the reason for the breakup? HYBE were the ones who coerced your company into agreeing to confirm the relationship!

So many things were going through your mind.

You didn't wanna do this; Jungwon would NEVER wanna do this.

However...

You knew ENHYPEN were in danger because of this. Not only did all the past idol-dating horror stories scare you, but you knew haters were sending trucks to HYBE asking them to remove Jungwon from the group.

You can't let Jungwon's dream be sacrificed.

So many things were going through your mind.

But you knew what had to be done.

-

After a text to Jungwon asking him if you could go over to his dorm tonight, you asked the rest of his members to give you and Jungwon the dorm to yourselves for about 30 minutes.

"Oh?" Heeseung exclaimed and you could practically hear the smirk on his face. "Y'all really can't get enough of each other huh?"

You couldn't even crack a fake smile at his joke so you just shook your head, as if he could see it. "No it's not that.. we have something to talk about."

Heeseung abruptly stopped laughing and it felt as if his entire demeanor changed"What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"N-no not really.. I just really need to talk to him."

"Something happened. Talk to me Y/N-yah. What's wrong?"

You couldn't do anything but shake your head. "'Im fine Oppa, really. There's just a conversation Jungwon and I need to have that's why I need the dorm for a bit. Just half an hour.. please?" Without hesitation he agreed to get the members out of the dorm for a bit.

8pm finally came around and you rang the doorbell. The door was swung open and you were greeted by a beaming cheeky smile on his face. "Hi sweetie!"

Immediately he wrapped his arms around your waist and you wrapped yours around his neck, hugging him tightly, knowing this would be the last one.

"H-hey Jungwon-ah.."

He moved to the side as you let yourself in, taking your shoes off and walking into the living room behind him. He looked so excited to see you here.. little did he know you were about to break his fragile heart.

"You know," he started. "I was fully prepared for our mini vacation to start tomorrow, but I'm so happy you came over tonight! Now we have even more time together!"

You gave him a sad smile. "Yeah about that.. that's what we need to talk about."

Still his smile didn't fully fade, he only tilted his head a little. "What happened? Sudden schedule? Plans with your other friends? We can still make a little time for each other baby, no worries."

"No it's not that.. you might wanna sit down."

Now Jungwon was worried, worrying that something really bad happened to you as you hadn't smiled once since you walked through the door. He sat down cautiously right next to you. "What happened princess?" he cooed and held your chin gently. "Who's got my baby so sad, hmm?"

His caring nature brought tears to your eyes but you quickly wiped them away. "Jungwon.. I.. I want to break up."

Time felt like it stopped for Jungwon. It felt as if everything stopped; his breath, his heart, even the trees that were blowing in the breezy wind out his window felt like they were frozen in place.

".. What are you saying baby?" he said slightly chuckling. "If this is one of your pranks again–"

"It's not. I'm serious.. I want to break up."

Jungwon's facial expression was unreadable. Was he angry? Sad? Disappointed? You don't know. But whatever it was, it was far from him being okay with this.

"Okay," Jungwon sighed. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and looked back into your eyes. "Let's talk this through. What happened that made you feel like you need to take such a drastic decision?"

Of course you had thought about what your reason was gonna be. You knew Jungwon well enough to know that whatever the reason was, he'd opt to working it out with you versus losing you. There was only one reason that would hurt him enough, reassure him enough that the breakup wasn't a haste decision; a reason that would make him not want to be near you at all which is what needed to happen.

"..I fell out of love with you."

If the feeling of time stopping was what Jungwon felt when you sprung the break up on him, he didn't know what the hell this feeling was now. "Y-you what?? You.. don't love me?"

You were never a good liar; your trembling voice usually gave away your true intentions. How could you blatantly lie to your lover? Just by simply nodding of course.

"Say something Y/N-yah." Jungwon's jaw slightly clenched, you could tell he was holding back an enormous amount of emotions. "Y-you can't just.. you can't just walk in here after 4 happy months and tell me you don't love me anymore!"

Jungwon's shouting never scared you. He couldn't yell at you the way he yelled at his members. You were too precious for him. "W-what do you want me to say, Jungwon.. f-feelings change."

"At least look at me while you break my heart."

You finally looked up at him to see him in a state that clearly meant he's about to break down; hands balled into fists, tears welled up in his beautiful boba eyes, jaw clenched yet somehow a slight pout formed on his lips, said lips quavering with sobs ready to come out.

"I'm looking at you.. d-do you believe me now, huh?" Your voice got a little loud at the end; you were getting defensive. You just wanted this to end. Not the relationship, but this conversation. You didn't want him to fight for you, ask you anymore questions. You just wanted to go home and cry your heart out.

Jungwon shook his head, the tears starting to fall and the quaver of his lips getting rougher. "N-no. I can't believe it. Not when we both waited so long! S-so long to finally be together.. Not when you tell me and show me every single day that you love me, and that you'll always be here for me. N-not when we've talked about a future together! Y/N, fuck, why are you doing this?!"

All his tears rushed out as soon as yours did. You whimpered, not being able to hold the sobs nor the intense eye contact with him. Your eyes went back to your lap where your fingers were playing with the hem of your shirt. "I-it's the truth Jungwon.. Like I said.. feelings change..."

"And yours changed in a couple hours?" he challenged as he stood up from the couch. "You were texting me about our plans tomorrow, telling me you can't wait to spend your days off with the love of your life!"

"I-I know what I said Yang Jungwon!" you screamed, also getting up from your seat. "You don't have to remind me."

His eyes widened. "Y-Yang Jungwon? When did you.. when do you ever call me by my full name?"

"What do you want me to call you, huh? I'm breaking up with you for God's sake!"

"So why are you crying, baby?! You're breaking up with me because you don't love me but you can'd do it without crying??" Jungwon stepped closer to you, grabbing one of your hands and intertwining your fingers. "Something's off.. w-what's going?"

You had to amp your acting skills up; you realized Jungwon knew you too well. "Nothing's going on! God, I'm just an emotional person and you know this! Just because I don't love you anymore doesn't mean I'm not gonna miss having a boyfriend! That's why I'm crying Jungwon; because of the memories and the romantic feelings not because of you!"

Jungwon winced, clearly hurt by your harsh words. You wanted to pull him into you, but you knew damn well you couldn't do it.

"What is it? What made you fall out of love with me? Is it th lack of time? The publicity? Are you still hung over about me being a year younger? God, it's not even that much.. I've been doing my best to not let you feel it, no?"

"Jungwon, it's none of that. I'm just.. n-not into you anymore."

"Bullshit," he spat. "I don't believe it for a second. I know you're fucking into me."

You shook your head, knowing this was going nowhere. Jungwon would fight for your relationship no matter what and you knew it damn well. "W-whatever Jungwon.. that's the only reason I came here. D-don't contact me anymore after this." You turned to walk towards the door. You had to get out of here before you cave in.

You didn't get far, Jungwon immediately grabbing your wrist and turning you towards him. His tears were coming in faster, dribbling down his neck into his pajama shirt. "Is someone making you do this?"

Jackpot.

You tried not to show it in your face; trying to use what you learned from the one and only acting session your company made you do. "What are you on about now."

"Is someone making you do this," he repeated. "Are you being threatened? Were you influenced?.. No fucking way.. tell me HYBE didn't do this..."

You pulled your hand out of his group. "How easy do you think I am, that I'll get influenced by someone else to breakup with you?"

Very, apparently.

"Get it through your head Yang Jungwon; I don't want to be with you anymore."

You turned around again to leave but were immediately pulled into a firm chest. Jungwon wrapped his arms around you as he weeped into your shoulder, his anger now turning into complete sadness.

"Y-Y/N-yah.." he whimpered. "Please.. d-don't leave me.. you were the missing piece in my life that I needed to be 100% happy! You're my lifeline.. h-how can I survive without my lifeline..."

He turned you around to face him, his hands on your shoulders. Your heart was already broken, but the pieces broke into even smaller, microscopic ones once you saw the kicked puppy look on his face with the biggest pout and the biggest teardrops. "I-it's okay if you don't love me anymore. I-I'll do my best to make you fall in love with me again. I'll do whatever I need to, just d-don't go..."

You shouldn't change yourself for anyone Jungwon-ah, you wanted to say.

You wanted to say a lot, mainly how this is all a lie; how you still love him.

But you couldn't.

You shouldn't.

You shoved his hands off of you. "Just let me go Goddammit!"

He was taken aback by your actions and voice volume. "Y/Y/N.."

You pinched the bride of your nose, letting out a sigh that sounded annoyed. "Yang Jungwon, do you hear me? We're. Done. I don't want to be with you anymore." You went to put your shoes on as he followed you with slumped shoulders, a mantra of your name falling from his lips. "Delete my number. This is goodbye Yang Jungwon."

"Y/N!"

You ran out of his dorm and straight into the van that was waiting for you. As the door closed, you let all the tears and sobs out. Your heart cried loudly, you screamed into your hands as you couldn't control your tears.

A tissue box was handed to you. "Here," a soft voice said. You took the tissue boxes without looking up at your manager. "You alright?"

You shook your head. "I can't be Leo... I-I love him so much! I hated telling him that I don't!"

Leo gave you a sad smile, sighing as he started the engine up. "I don't understand why HYBE would do this.. maybe Jungwon really was losing focus.. whatever it is, you'll be okay in the end Y/N."

You got back to the dorms and all of your members sensed something horribly wrong. They followed you to yours and Haydee's shared bedroom and forced the story out of you.

Mijeong smacked the desk she was sitting at out of anger. "Why would HYBE do that?! It makes no sense!"

Your youngest member Jaein was sitting right next to you, letting you cuddle into her as she rubbed your back. "It really doesn't... HYBE can't be that ruthless, right?"

You shrugged, sitting up from your position and looking straight at Haydee. "I know you're good friends with Jake. He'll definitely contact you. He can't know anything about HYBE contacting me, please."

Your prediction turned out right as an hour later, Haydee's phone rang with Jake's name displaying on the bright screen. She went downstairs onto the street to answer the call, not wanting to discuss it near you as it's a fresh wound. "Yeah Jake."

"Yoi~ what the hell is going on?"

'I don't know," Haydee sighed. "How much have you heard from Jungwon?"

"Well, he wouldn't talk at first. When we came back to the dorm he was on the floor in the living room, in like a fetus position and crying a fuck ton. It took some coaxing from Jay for him to tell us that Y/N came over and broke up with him because she doesn't love him anymore.. but that's not the full truth, is it Dee?"

Haydee was conflicted, but girl code first; she knew it well. "Look, I'm not gonna add more fuel to the burning fire.. It's not my place to discuss this with you but whatever Y/N did, she did for a reason."

"She still loves him though right? Just tell me that much so I can comfort him."

"I was told specifically not to tell you jack shit bro."

Jake groaned. "Fine fine.. whatever you or Y/N or anyone says I refuse to believe it. All of us refuse to believe it; no way Y/N's out of love with Jungwon. They're a match made in heaven!"

"And I agree Jake, but we can't really do much besides be there for them."

"Nah you're right.. Uh, Jungwon wanted me to tell you one thing though. It's actually a favor."

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Don't let Y/N forget to take care of herself. We both know.. actually everyone knows, how bad this girl is at taking care of herself. So he just wanted me to tell you and the rest of the girls to take extra care of her."

"Yeah Jake, tell Jungwon and the rest of the guys we'll be keeping an eye out on her. Nothing will get passed us."

And that's where Haydee was wrong. It had been about 15 days since the breakup and so much had changed.

HYBE announced the breakup the same day and since then, the hate towards Jungwon had stopped completely. HYBE stated the reason for the breakup to be conflicting schedules, so neither party would get hate.

Another thing that changed though, was you. You had done a weight check-in today and your managers were shocked to see you lost 10 lbs in two weeks.

"I'm fine Leo," you repeated for the fifth time as he walked behind you into the convenience store. "Stop babying me, you're a year older than me."

"This is literally my job Y/N. Let me do my job."

You rolled your eyes and went to the snack section, picking up a pack of saltine crackers. "Then let me do mine. I'm an idol, I have to watch my weight."

Leo watched as you put your lunch down at the register– if he could even call it a lunch. A pack of saltine crackers, a cup of ice, a zero coke, and a bottle of water. He eyed you as he got the company card out of his wallet. "Shouldn't you grab like, I don't know, an actual lunch item?"

"This is enough," you protested. "I'm not even that hungry. Now stop before I start coming to the convenience store without you or any protection."

With a defeated sigh, Leo payed for your stuff and then grabbed the bag, walking out with you as you two headed back to the company. "How's this enough when all you had for breakfast was coffee? The whole point of me bringing you here was for you to get actual food Y/N.. we're all worried about you. "

"Don't be, I feel fine! I've been so energized since I stopped eating all the food I was eating before."

"That's your fatigue talking. You're gonna end up crashing, I'm telling you."

"I hear you and your worries, but I'm fine. Trust me." And with that, Leo let it go.

Big mistake.

The week after that was the Waterbomb Korea Festival. Because your group was performing, two months prior to the event Jungwon got tickets for all of ENHYPEN so they could come and support you guys. Jungwon was gonna return the tickets, not having the courage to face you, but all of the members insisted that it'd be quite fun to go and enjoy the festival as audience members and not artists for once. So they dragged Jungwon with them.

Jungwon had been so depressed. The past two weeks were a repeat of the same thing; he'd wake up, eat breakfast, go to the company, come back home, shower, eat dinner, talk to fans on We Verse, and then cry looking at videos and pictures he took of you till he'd fall asleep. His members didn't know what to do. They all discussed it and all 6 of them agreed that something about the breakup felt off; no way you fell out of love with Jungwon. 

Jay had even come to see you at your company once. You were pretty close with Jay, him slowly becoming sort of a therapist for you once you two got close as he was quite well versed in helping you through your mental health. He was thinking that maybe you let the voices in your head get to you; maybe you felt you were not enough for Jungwon (which is so far from the truth) hence you broke up with him. But you kept giving Jay the same reason you gave Jungwon until he gave up and left after giving you some sweet words of encouragement. After that Jake, Heeseung, even Jungwon's sister had messaged you but you left all of their notifications untouched.

Jungwon had snagged pretty good seats; not too far from the stage and smack in the middle so they could get a good view of everything. They enjoyed all the acts and performances, having a genuinely good time. All the members were relieved to see Jungwon displaying a sincere smile on his face for the first time in 3 weeks.

Then your group came out and Jungwon felt his heart break all over again. Yes, partly because the breakup and your relationship were fresh wounds. But the main reason he was having a hard time holding it together was because of the way you looked.

Although everything about your outfit, hair, and makeup was perfect that day, Jungwon couldn't help but notice you lost an immense amount of weight. You usually didn't wear revealing clothing as it was out of your comfort zone, but for a festival like Waterbomb, your stylist had to put you in a halter crop top and really short shorts. So Jungwon could see a lot of your skin, and you looked so beautiful.. yet so weak.

And everyone noticed it too. "Is it just me," Niki started, "or does Y/N Noona look sick?"

Jungwon nodded and sighed disappointedly. "Yeah, she looks like she lost a lot of weight–"

"No not that Hyung," Niki interrupted. "I mean, yeah she does look like she lost too much weight but. I mean actually sick. Her face is pale and she's not performing like she usually does... like.. she's gonna faint..."

Jungwon's head snapped to you at the younger's words, now really watching you. And Niki was right, you looked sickly. You were a great performer, so it was definitely odd for you to not be fully doing the moves. Jungwon also noticed you kept looking down a lot, and then noticed you were scrunching your eyes tightly closed while doing so. Were you really going to faint??

Jungwon's question didn't go unanswered for much longer as your group's 3rd song was coming to an end. Jaein had just started singing the very ending of the song when you plopped onto the stage floor, making her scream in the middle of singing. The music stopped, the crowd went from singing and laughing to gasping and murmuring concernedly. 

Jake's eyes widened. "What just happened?! Did Y/N just faint?!"

"I-I think so.." Heeseung responded.

The members (and everyone in the crowd) watched as staff rushed to you, gently picking you up and taking you back stage. Jungwon watched everything happen, completely frozen until he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see one of your manager's Leo standing there with a concerned look, completely out of breath. 

"Hey man," Leo greeted. "We're gonna take Y/N to the hospital, the ambulance is on the way... D-do you wanna go with her?"

Jungwon frantically nodded. "Y-yeah Hyung, please." He said goodbye to his members and then followed Leo to where you are. They had you laid on the couch with your members surrounding you; some fanning you, some just watching you to see if you'd wake up, and Haydee was walking around looking stressed as she called your family.

Jungwon slowly made his way towards you. Your members nodded and made some room for him to kneel down in front of your unconscious figure. He caressed your cheek with the back of his fingers, trying to hold his tears back the best he could. "Wh-what did you do my baby.." he whimpered to himself.

"Jungwon," the eldest of your group called out to him.

He looked up to see her standing there with your backpack in her hand. "FeiFei Noona, what is it?"

"The ambulance is almost here, our managers arranged a space for us to change her into her regular clothes; these are pretty uncomfortable. Do you want to come with me to help change her?"

"Of course Noona, anything for her." He got up and carefully picked you up bridal style as he followed FeiFei to the empty dressing room. Jungwon couldn't help but notice that you had packed one of his shirts in your bag.

By the time you were dressed the ambulance came and you were put on a stretcher and taken in. Haydee, Leo, and your main manager went with you, along with Jungwon. The rest of your members were so distraught they knew they couldn't perform so they went home.

Once you were admitted to the hospital everyone was just sitting in the waiting room, waiting for any news on you. 

"Any update?" Jake asked as he called Haydee.

"No," she sighed. "The doctor and nurses have been in there with her for almost an hour.. no one has said anything."

"How's Jungwon?"

Haydee looked over at Jungwon, turning her back to him and walking a bit further away so he couldn't hear. "Not good. He's been crying and sobbing. Nothing we say is helping, although Leo is trying hard. I'll call you once we hear anything."

Not too long after, a nurse came out to the waiting room. "Are you all here for Y/N-ssi?" Everyone stood up nodding. "We just transferred her into a room. The doctor is there waiting, you all can follow me."

They walked in to the room you were in and Jungwon gasped. Your face gained some color back but you were hooked up to IVs and the sight made Jungwon wince.

The doctor greeted the four in the room with you. "Ms. Y/N is fine now," he started. "She was heavily malnourished and dehydrated. I checked her charts, and it seems she lost a dangerous amount of weight in the past month. What have her eating habits been like recently?"

And for once Jungwon couldn't answer.. he had no idea what you'd been up to the past three weeks so Leo answered. "Honestly she hasn't really been eating much.. We all try to force her but she doesn't listen. I don't know how she is at home.."

Haydee shook her head. "It's the same thing at home. She drinks juice and then goes about her day. We've gotten into so many arguments with her about this but like our manager said, she doesn't really listen."

Jungwon teared up again hearing this information and looked up to the doctor with broken eyes. "W-when will she wake up?"

"Hopefully soon," the doctor said. "We're administering saline, medicines, and some nutritional vitamins to her through IV so she should wake up soon. I'll leave you all with her for some time."

"Haydee," your main manager called out. "We gotta get you back to the dorm.. I'm sorry but you guys still have to continue with your schedules and you have a fan meet tomorrow morning."

Haydee nodded defeated. "Okay.. let's go then."

Your main manager nodded then turned to Leo. "I've already talked to ENHYPEN's manager; Jungwon is allowed to stay as long as he'd like. You stay until she wakes up, and when Jungwon-ssi wants to go home take him. Call me if she wakes up."

Leo nodded as Haydee and his boss left the room. "Yes Hyung." Once they were gone he came up to Jungwon who was now sat by your bed, playing with the hand that wasn't hooked to machines. He put an encouraging hand on Jungwon's shoulder. "You okay?"

He sniffled and nodded. "I just.. I don't know what to feel.. I-I'm so mad at her but m-myself too..."

"Yeah I get it man.. I know your manager gave the okay for you to stay here as long as you want but my advice? Don't stay too long. Maybe it's selfish of me to say it but I don't want HYBE coming at Y/N again."

Jungwon slowly turned his head to look at Leo with disbelief written all over his face. "What do you mean Hyung.. what do you mean HYBE will come for her again."

Leo sighed, realizing he fucked up. "She'll kill me for telling you, but here." Leo took his phone out and showed Jungwon a picture of the letter HYBE sent you.

The more Jungwon read it the more he seethed with anger. He stood up abruptly. "What? How could HYBE do this?!"

Leo shrugged. "We were confused too, since HYBE were the ones who wanted to confirm your relationship in the first place. Don't be mad at Y/N; understand she did this to save your career."

"Why would I be mad at her?" he shook his head and turned to look at your unconscious figure. He caressed your cheek as a pout formed on his lips. "My baby.. I knew you still loved me.. but you put yourself through so much just for me.." He kissed your forehead before handing Leo his phone back. "I'll be back Hyung.. I've got a phone call to make. Send me that picture please."

Jungwon stepped out of the room to call his manager, accusing him of ruining his relationship but to his surprise, he was also shocked to hear the real reason why you broke up with him. Jungwon then sent the picture to his manager who immediately contacted his higher-ups at HYBE. "I'll call you back Jungwon-ah," he said before hanging up.

Jungwon paced around in front of the hospital room, biting his lips as a way to keep his anger at bay. HYBE did this without telling his manager, without telling him, and for what? And out of nowhere? None of it made sense. As soon as his manager called back Jungwon immediately picked up. "Hyung what did you find out."

"Jungwon.. that letter wasn't sent by HYBE."

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What? What do you mean? The address, the logo, it's even signed by HYBE!"

"Jungwon look closely at the picture.. the 'H' in the logo is tilted."

Jungwon took the phone off his ear to zoom in on the picture and sure enough, his manager was right. He put the phone back to his ear. "Hyung, I'm so confused. You're right but what does this mean?"

"Someone sent that letter to Y/N pretending to be HYBE to sabotage your relationship"

Jungwon's eyes widened. "What? Who would do such a thing?"

"My guess is a crazy fan? Sasaeng? I'm not sure but HYBE is working on it as we speak. We'll get to the bottom of this. You stay with Y/N and her manager and do not leave the hospital alone. We don't know if anyone is trying to hurt you or Y/N."

Immediately Jungwon went back to your hospital room, relaying this new information to Leo who was equally shocked. The two couldn't do anything about it so they just sat around your hospital room waiting for you to wake up. Jungwon in the mean time was updating his members and his sister about what he had just found out.

Another three hours later, you had slowly opened your eyes. You were quite confused as you looked around to see you were in a hospital room, with machines hooked to you. In the car corner of the room you saw Leo and Jungwon sitting on the couch scrolling through their phones. You didn't know what was going on, so you mustered all the strength you had to call out Jungwon's name hoarsely.

Immediately he looked up and practically chucked his phone on the couch before sprinting over to you. "Y-Y/N! You're awake!" His face lit up with joy and relief as he sat down next to you, taking your free hand and kissing it. "Thank God!"

Leo walked over to you and smiled."How you doing kiddo?"

"I'm fine.. what happened? Weren't we performing today?"

Leo nodded. "You were yeah. Until you fainted on stage."

Your eyes widened. "W-what?! I fainted?"

"The doctor said you were heavily malnourished and dehydrated. I told you right? That you'd end up crashing? You didn't listen now look where we are." Leo shook his head in disappointment before ruffling your hair. "Glad you're awake though. I'm gonna go find the doctor so you guys can have some alone time.. you two really need to talk."

After Leo left you hesitantly looked at Jungwon. "Jungwon.."

He gave you a sad smile as he caressed your hand. "I'm glad you're awake."

You sighed. "I'm sorry Jungwon."

"For which part? The part where you didn't take care of yourself? Or the part where you lied to me and broke up with me because of HYBE?"

You widened your eyes. "H-how did you–"

"What were you thinking princess? Why would you tell me you don't love me? Did you want me to start hating you?"

You slowly nodded. "I-I did what I had to do Jungwon... your life was in risk, your members lives were at risk; your careers were at risk! You worked so hard to get here, I couldn't be selfish and take that from you."

"But you were selfish! You took yourself away from me!" he exclaimed. Jungwon wiped his tears before continuing. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I-I was told not to.."

Jungwon sighed, coming closer to you and he caressed your cheek. "Baby.. Leo Hyung showed me the letter so I contacted my manager who knew nothing of it. Then he talked to HYBE and.. they said they didn't send it."

Your heart stopped. "What? What do you mean?"

"So I spoke to my manager a little earlier.. one of my sasaengs sent that letter to you impersonating HYBE."

"Are you serious?!" you almost yelled. "I ended our relationship because of a sasaeng?!"

Jungwon sadly nodded. "Yeah baby.. But HYBE found her and she's having charges pressed against her for this whole mess. We don't know how she found your address so she's got that against her too."

You sighed taking in all of that information and then you suddenly started crying. You pulled Jungwon to you and wrapped your free arm around him. "I-I'm so sorry Jungwon!"

Your sobs brought tears to his eyes again and he too started crying as he gently hugged you back. "Shh.. it's okay.. you didn't do it on purpose.. you did it to save me and as much as I hate it, I'll always appreciate that baby.." He kissed your forehead before letting go and sitting next to your bed again. "Now let's talk about your health.. why did you do this Y/N-yah.."

You shrugged, not really knowing what to tell him. "I don't really know.. I just, didn't feel lie eating I guess."

He shook his head at your reasoning. "Doesn't matter. Eating is a basic human need.. even if you don't feel like eating you should eat something. And Leo Hyung told me about your "lunches"; you think saltines and juice are enough to fill you up for the day, hmm?" he lightly scolded.

"S-sorry Jungwon-ah.."

He sighed as he felt the tears coming back and he looked at you completely dejected. "Please baby.. promise me you'll never do this again.. Please, just eat.."

You felt so bad for everything you put Jungwon through in the past couple weeks, your heart was breaking more than ever. "Jungwonnie," you cooed. "Come here."

Immediately he caught your drift and stood up to lean over your body and kiss you. You two passionately kissed for a couple seconds before he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours. "Be my girlfriend again Y/N," he sniffed. "Please... be mine forever."

You nodded and pecked his lips shortly. "I love you Jungwon."

Jungwon sighed, missing your voice telling him that. "I know, I know my baby.. and I love you too."

[mytardisiscoolerthanyours]

You've Got Mail

Chapter 5: Your Favorite Pen Pal

Ch. 4

Timmy!

I was beginning to think you forgot about me! Sorry to hear that work has been busy. An internship and a night job at the same time is crazy, do you ever sleep??

So I've been going over my notes (your past letters) and I've compiled your lore. It sounds creepy when I say it like that. I really only meant to look back and see what we talked about in our last letters and then, I don't know, my data driven nerd brain went crazy. Anyway, this is what I’ve got. So, I know you have an adoptive dad named Bruce who owns a company that you work at. You used to be an only child but now you have three brothers named Jason, Dick, and one you haven't mentioned yet. Any sisters I don’t know about? lol. Also you have a mildly concerning coffee obsession. I made a note to circle back to that, it'll stunt your growth you know. But all in all, you've led an interesting life Timbo. I guess it's only fair that I give you some of my lore too. 

I'll start at the beginning. I was born in Metropolis, like I said in my first letter. Mom and dad tried their best, but dad- or should I say sperm donor- didn't care about us too much. He left when I was young. I wouldn't even remember him if it weren't for the pictures that my mom showed me. All I'll say is thank god I got my looks from my mom. 

Anyway, we lived there until I was about ten and then it just got too hard. Rent was expensive and I was too young to help, so we packed up and moved to Gotham. A real upgrade I know, but rent here is cheaper and mom was able to find a job she actually liked. She works at one of the children's homeless shelters near Park Row. And since rent was lower here, I didn’t need to find a job to pay rent. Mom said she wanted me to be a kid for as long as I could. But, being an ally-adjacent kid, it wasn't super easy. I eventually found a good group of friends and we were able to manage just fine. 

Going back to your absurd amount of martial arts skills. (I still think three is too many at once) I actually learned some self defense when I was younger. Mom organized weekly classes at the shelter and I would always tag along. I can’t classify it as actual karate, but I can hold my own against a mugger. 

Also, I can't believe you have a spreadsheet of each hero's powers. You're a bigger nerd than I am. And I knew your whole righteous, “I don't need powers to be cool” speech was bullshit. Everyone wants a power.

Flying is a cool one though. There's so many uses for it, especially if you could turn into a bird. I think I'd choose one of the big birds of prey, like an eagle or hawk. I bet you’d choose something more stealthy, like a robin or a pigeon. You would blend in with all the other birds. 

If I could be ANY animal though, I think I would pick some kind of sea creature. Maybe an orca or a shark. Fun fact about me, I'm actually terrified of the ocean. I hate that I can’t see the bottom and that we have basically no idea what lives down there. So if I had the opportunity, I would absolutely go down to figure it out. Fears and all. 

As for my summer plans, it's a whole lot of nothing. I was going to get a job, but nowhere will hire me. They want me to have crazy things like “work experience” and “good customer service.” So weird, but oh well. It gives me more time to chill before classes start. Plus I’ve been helping out at the shelter once a week. It's nice to see the kids and do what I can. They even let me practice first aid on them if they had a rough day. Don’t tell them I told you, though. They like to act tough and pretend they don’t need my help. Something about their “street cred?”

What's your night job, by the way. I’m surprised you need one if you're already working at your dads fancy company. That sounded judgy. I just meant, well, it must be something cool if youre doing it without really needing the money, right?

My question this week is, If you had to choose one weapon to use during a zombie apocalypse, which would you choose and why?

I’d take after my good friend Harley (because apparently I'm a super villain now? Thanks for that) and use a bat. It's reliable and easy to carry, basically the best choice. 

Thanks for sticking around Tim, it means a lot. Getting your letter every week always makes me smile. And yes, we're going to stick to letters, email isn’t as special. And I think this is special, or at least, it is to me.

“See” you next week!

Your favorite pen pal,

Quinnley 

P.S. Yes, that is my real name. Thanks for the compliment <3 My mom thought it was regal and “unique.” I'm just pissed that I’ll never find my name on a keychain when I go to the beach. 

--

Thanks for reading!

Check out all the chapters here!

[armpirate]

Kalla | Choi San || Chapter 17

MASTERLIST Previous || Next

Pairings: CEO!San x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, strangers to lovers.

Warnings: dom!San, sub!reader, voyeourism, use of sex toys, bondage, dirty talk, BDSM, exhibitionism, rough sex.

Summary: She was surprised by how fast her life went from the perfect fairytale to the destructive mess it had turned into. Dealing with a cheater ex boyfriend, having to move out to a different place because the house she lived in belonged to that man she once dreamed of spending the rest of her life with, while continuously being underappreciated at work... It was as if life was telling her to stop dreaming big, to go back to her small town, Bibury, and help her parents run the small farm her family had owned for decades.

At least until she received a call from her friend.

A sudden vacancy as an assistant showed up on one of her friend's system, having her being encouraged to take that big step and apply for it. She had no hopes for it. Mainly because she didn't have any experience on the field, and she didn't comply with most of the requirements that were added on the offer -and which most of them sounded ridiculous and exaggerated for the position, making her wonder who was the freak who needed so many guidelines in order to hire someone to pick up the phone and schedule events. 

Although that hotel she'd be working on was much more than anything she could've come up with. 

Choi San wasn't someone easy to deal with. After his previous assistant presented his resignation letter on his desk, he felt forced to start the whole selection process again -after merely two months. 

Sure that he was being way too strict, enough to find that anyone who applied for the position wasn't enough, he asked one of his friends to be in charge of the interviews and the selection of the most adequate candidate. 

Little did he know Wooyoung would hire the imperfectly perfect candidate for him, sure that she'd help him in many ways other than just in dealing with the responsibilities of his position. 

A new challenge will come their way as soon as she steps inside the hotel. 

Y/n will have to learn how to mold onto him and deal with all his small habits and requirements, and San will find himself trying to open up and let out all those same things that turned him into the person he was. 

The more she digs in Kalla and all of its secrets and exciting corners, the deeper she'll dive into San's heart and soul... Although, maybe, she won't be able to take it. 

Kalla opens its doors to you, sharing the vast amount of filthy and erotic plans it offers, and that you can join with a partner... Or maybe just by yourself. 

Hope you enjoy your stay.

Chapter duration: 15 minutes

Chapter warnings: smut, dirty talk, explicit content, female masturbation, teasing

San was gripping on his wheel tight, bothered at the idea of her ex boyfriend showing up there to see her, and claiming her as if they were still together. Coming all the way to Seoul from London... No one would be as stupid to do something like that, unless he thought there was a chance his trip would be worth it.

The click of her tongue broke his thoughts, turning his head for one second to notice her furrowed eyebrows, while the lighting from her screen lit her face. She was typing something, moving nervously in her place.

—Is everything alright?

—Well, considering my ex boyfriend stalked my Linkedin, and showed up in the hotel... No, I could be doing better, to be honest.

—You didn't tell him where you were working? —he looked so calm, in contrast with how he was feeling inside.

—Tell him? I haven't spoken to him since we broke up —she could only shake her head while trapping her lip under her teeth—. Who in their sane mind would do something like this? And why the hell didn't he tell me?

—So you wouldn't run away —he suggested—. It's quite obvious he showed up so you wouldn't have any time to think.

He knew, because he had lived that.

After dealing with his father for so long, San had a master degree against manipulation and guilt tripping. He knew everything about the tricks that type of people used, and how they always found the right way to appeal to their softer and weaker side to trap them. If he hadn't showed up, Y/n would've probably agreed on going out for dinner with him -since he bothered to fly so far away from home just to see her-, and that dinner could've ended... He didn't want to think of how it could've ended.

—Where are we going? —she asked, locking her screen to leave her phone over her lap.

—To have dinner —he turned to her—. I also need to discuss some things with you, and I think it'd be better to do it in a neutral place.

Last time he said something like that, they both ended up making out in his car, and that made her heart beat faster in excitement. Mainly because she wanted more than just a few kisses after he left her so close to the edge she could see glimpses of the aftermath.

His car stopped in front of a restaurant, with San moving faster than her to get out of the car and surround it to open the door for her. His hand, skillfully placed on her lower back, guided her inside to the elevator in front of the main door. And that spot went cold as soon as he moved his fingers away, placing them back on each side of his body to wait to get to the rooftop where the restaurant was placed.

The decor of the restaurant was contemporary with a touch of elegance, featuring large potted plants with flowers that were placed every two and three tables. The ceiling had a unique, textured design with a warm, golden hue, adding to the luxurious feel of the place; and contrasting in light with the night sky in front of them and the lit up buildings of the city.

Again, air was stuck in her throat when his hand took back that spot on her back, helping her walk behind the waiter that led them to their table, next to one of the large windows.

—This place is amazing —she giggled, looking around to get a grip of all the details she could be aware of.

—I'm glad you like it.

It was the first time she saw him smile that way ever since they hopped in his car, with his dimples almost going unnoticeable before his expression turned back to a neutral one.

San waited patiently. He only looked at her, admiring her big eyes glancing over the establishment with attention, endeared by her barely parted lips and subtly curved corners. He only looked at her until the waiter took their order and served them their drinks, with Y/n going for a freezing beer while he followed his tradition and picked the glass of wine he always drank when he went there.

—How did you feel when I didn't let you cum earlier today?

Y/n felt like choking on her beer when San brought up that topic with such ease, that she wouldn't ever have expected it coming.

—I... I don't know —her brain was glitching, processing the images that came back with his words.

—Did you like it? Did you feel comfortable giving me that level of power? That's what I want to know. It's really important for me, Y/n.

Liking it? She loved it. She never thought she'd be so into being controlled and left to be taken care of, but it was the best feeling she had ever had, only being surpassed by the night they spent together during that masked event.

—It was weird —she frowned—, but I did like it. I didn't even care about... you know.

That second smile made his eyes crinkle, while his fingers played with the base of his glass.

—Cumming —he finished for her—. Let's call things as they are, shall we? —he left his laid back posture, sitting back straight when fixing his eyes on hers— And it's something you aren't going to do, at least until you earn it.

She wasn't experienced in that type of sex, but she wasn't a virgin to be stranged at what he was trying to do. He was punishing her for something, and she couldn't quite understand why.

—You look good with a mask, but you look way better without it —he added, looking through the window. She gulped the thick load of spit when his eyes were back on her after a blink—. So that was what you were doing in my office the other day?

—How did you find out?

—Oh, honey. That's definitely not the question you should be asking —he assured her, poking his tongue against his lower lip.

—I didn't want to make things weird between us. So I thought it was better if I was the only one knowing about it.

—And of course confessing while I was knuckles deep in you wasn't an option —he squinted his eyes at her—. Sugar, edging you will be a fairytale compared to what I'll do to you for lying to me, I can promise you that.

Her lips were pressed tight, while her eyes dropped to her empty and clean plate, trying to think of the best way to overcome that situation.

—It made sense it was you though —he commented out of nowhere.

—Because I didn't speak in Korean? —she tried to guess, remembering how most of the conversations she overheard were in his native language.

—Well, that was a hint I chose to ignore —he tilted his head.

A lot of the clients that spent a night in his hotel were foreigners, so hearing someone in the Spadix speaking in another language that wasn't Korean wasn't something that alerted him. Although he did find it curious that day.

—These weeks I've been thinking about you non-stop, so it just made sense you were the only one able to distract me from you.

His confession was so unexpected that she could feel her heart pumping against her rib cage, attempting to break it if he kept looking at her the way he was doing.

—And what were you thinking? —she dared to ask, supporting her head in her hand.

—How good you'd look tied up to my mercy, maybe with a gag in your mouth so you'd stop speaking when you aren't supposed to —when he trapped his lower lip, she knew he wasn't done, but he stopped himself from sharing his dark thoughts with her—. But before any of that happens, I need to settle some things with you.

—Rules?

—Agreements —he corrected her—. The type of sex I enjoy isn't the usual.

—Oh really?

—Y/n, you're already in trouble. Do you want to keep adding onto it? —his warning had her backing up almost immediately— I'm a dom, which means not only your pleasure is under my control. Your emotional, mental and physical health also is. But it doesn't mean you don't have any control. You set the limits, you say when you want to stop or when it's being too much. And, for that, I need you to be vocal. Communication is key in these relationships. I don't want to cross any lines, and even less find out later you were uncomfortable with something we did, only because you didn't dare to speak up.

—That's what the safeword is for?

—It's a good tool for that, yeah —he nodded—. But that's more for the part where we are already at it, and you aren't comfortable with something we agreed on doing. But I need you to set limits you're pretty much sure you don't want to cross ever. A way of calling you, a way of treating you, a gesture, a practice you don't want to try... Anything.

—Do you also mark those limits?

—I do —he smiled fondly, nodding at her question—. Our pleasure stops where the other starts feeling uncomfortable. Bdsm can hurt, you might feel pain, but there will always be pleasure added to it. The second there's none of it, it's where the dynamic doesn't work.

—What are your limits?

—I divide them into two, actually. Hard limits and soft limits. With hard limits being a straightforward no, and soft limits being something I could think of doing only, and only, if you really want to do it —something about him already speaking to her as if they were already an item had her folding on the spot—. As a hard limit: non-con roleplay. Others enjoy their subs pretending to be opposed to what it's being done to them, but it's not my case. I want to hear you moaning, so loud that your sounds vibrate through my eardrums for days —his lips puckered while he thought—. Add gore, scat and bodily fluids that aren't cum or sweat. The second I see blood, the only place you'll be running to is to the emergency room. Sharing you in the Spadix, or any other room is a big no as well. Non-negotiable.

—I don't get it —she frowned—. When we had sex, you started fingering me in front of everyone.

—Sharing your pleasure is one thing, sharing you is another. I like being seen, I like others witnessing how I top you. But have someone lying a hand on you and the night is ruined. And that's another point I wanted to discuss with you. You won't be able to go to the Spadix alone. I don't want to see your name on any of those lists if it hasn't been with me.

—Does that mean I can't meet other guys? I know this isn't a romantic relationship, but...

—You aren't allowed to have another dom and go around those circles without me. In those places, you're mine only. But, of course, I won't stop you from living your life and meeting someone. I understand the nature of this relationship isn't normal, and sometimes things just happen. You don't control when you fall in love —he shrugged—. Actually, if you ever fall for someone while being with me, you'll be the one ending this up by yourself.

It was something that already happened to him, he was no stranger to having one of his agreements finished because the other part found something he wasn't willing to give out.

—I understand —she nodded.

It wasn't like she was looking for a relationship. If she was honest, she was grateful to San for that freedom he was giving her; because the last thing she needed -and wanted- was to be involved with someone else romantically -at least, in a long time.

—I also need you to know that, just like I like sharing your pleasure with the rest, I'm also the type to pull some shows there —he mentioned, looking at her over the curve of his glass while he drank—. Remember the first night you went there and you got so flustered that you ended up running away? If you're mine, you'll be the one on those shows.

She remembered how nervous and strangely uncomfortable she became when she witnessed such an explicit scene, even more after seeing the people around the stage just enjoying what they were seeing as if there was no one else around them. And while she had never thought of doing something similar to that, the thought of her being in that woman's place, while San just did with her what he wanted created a feeling that her blood was running through her veins a bit faster.

After a few seconds of silence, that were so long that started to weight on her shoulder -to the point of making her move uncomfortably on the spot-, she spoke again:

—I have a hard limit. I mean, apart from the scat and bodily fluid thing you mentioned. If we go to the Spadix, I don't want to show my face.

She was able to let herself go the way she did the last time only because no one knew it was her. The same way she sneaked inside, she knew there would be coworkers going around there, and she wasn't willing to deal with the consequences of just some minutes of pleasure.

—It's acceptable —he nodded—, and you won't have to worry about it. Either way, your first times won't be in front of everyone —he assured her.

Of course he wasn't going to expose someone who was just getting started that way. Her first contact should always be with him only and then, when she had broken her shell, he'd guide her step by step towards the outside.

—Will I have to wear latex and stuff like that? I have sensitive skin —she admitted in a whisper, causing San to chuckle.

—I'm not into costumes, so your skin is safe.

When Y/n got up, and he was able to see the way her dress flew with each step he took, he couldn't help but be reminded of the way his hand was hidden under the light fabric. Right there, and with the biggest inspiration of his muse, he got an idea of what her punishment would be like.

The dishes came, and San rushed to put his aside, holding hers to cut her steak in a bite size, leaving her plate right in front of him. Y/n loved playing with fire when it came with him, and he was going to give her a light dose of her own medicine.

Y/n was confused when she saw a plate on the side of the table, while hers was in front of him, with San calmly looking at his phone while he waited for her. His eyes lifted innocently when he heard the clacking of her heels approaching where he was sitting.

—You have a new seat.

Her eyes wandered around their area, confused at his statement, until the chair squeaking when he dragged it enough to leave her some space helped her catch a glimpse of what was about to happen.

At first, she tried to work as hard not to leave her whole weight over his thighs, dividing it between her feet and calves, only to finally give it up and hear him let out a heavy breath when her ass covered his dick.

—Now eat all of your food, without making a sound. And I might rethink your punishment.

After she finally let go of her own weight, she thought it'd be no problem to deal with it. She wasn't the one who was uncomfortable, he was.

Or so she thought.

The edges of her skirt tickled her legs as San moved it up from the right side, until his fingers reached her panties.

—Eat your food, and don't let anyone know what's going on under here, hmm? —shiverings ran over her body when his warm breath caressed her earlobe.

She couldn't help but jump when his fingers found her clothed core, sliding its tips over her fabric so softly that she thought she'd melt, unconsciously spreading her thighs a bit wider. She'd have been able to deal with that, chewing slowly on the juicy and tender steak in front of her.

The movements of her jaw stopped, clenching at the sudden and direct touch of his fingers against her wet slid when they moved lower under the elastic of her panties.

—Fuck, sugar. You like being exposed so much? I didn't have to do anything and you're already getting me all wet —he mumbled against her shoulders, while his fingers started rubbing against her clit up and down—. Eat your food.

Aware of how she stopped, she took another bite, rewarded by his fingers pressing a little harder while making circles around her button.

—You're working so hard to get my cock inside of you —for a quick moment, his fingers pinched her clit, making her sit straight—. Next time I have you sitting like this on me, you'll be keeping my cock warm. How does that sound?

But Y/n was too focused on keeping her mouth full with food, and her lips sealed so not a single moan or whine would escape them. And that made San proud. Seeing her so close to the edge, so close to losing herself, yet at the same time working so hard to keep it all between them... he was damning himself for taking so long to speak with her and getting to where they were.

With each rub, her jaw clenched a bit tighter, her breath got shakier, and her brain was working harder to ignore the growing sensation on her belly to focus on chewing.

Her skin was burning with the first orgasm, closing her legs unconsciously, placing her heels over his feet to find some stability, thinking she'd have some time to recompose after. But his fingers didn't stop moving, keeping the speed, causing an electric feeling to shake her from head to toe as San prolonged her orgasm.

She even felt forced to drop the fork, with a piece of steak still pinched on its dents, just so she could try to reach his wrist to stop him from going on.

—It's been just one. You're already asking me to stop?

The second orgasm after that one was even bigger, momentarily feeling how her eyes moved to the back of her head.

If it weren't because he wanted their first time to be all about themselves only, the next route they'd go to would be that bathroom. But he'd have time for that another day.

Y/n was next to him in his car, looking through the window with a pout she wasn't trying to hide. She didn't care about cumming four times with just his fingers, and having her legs shake so much that she was barely able to stand up later. She wasn't embarrassed when a waiter almost caught them as she escaped a soft moan when he passed by. But she did expect some naughty and dirty sex in the bathroom as a reward for doing what she was told.

Instead, he patted her leg after the desserts and guided her to get up so they could leave the restaurant and he could drop her off at her place.

He had set her on fire twice that day, only to send her off somewhere else instead of his bed.

—Anything you want to say? —he lifted his eyebrow.

—I can't understand how you're so calm after what you did —she muttered, trying to keep her tone as low as possible.

—Did you feel bad about it? —he mocked her with a grin.

—No —her answer was so quick that even she was surprised at how she exposed herself—. It wasn't on my bingo card, but since you started, you could've finished it.

—Someone still doesn't understand the roles, huh? —he rested his back against the seat of his car— Fine.

—I do understand the roles, but...

She recognized the street, but she was even faster to point out the man who was waiting outside of her building. She couldn't understand how Andy knew where she was living, but it made even less sense how he showed up there after she clearly stated she wanted to have nothing to do with him.

—Bend forward and don't move until I say so.

That time, Y/n had nothing to say, nothing to fight back for. The car started beeping when she undid her belt, able to bend her body forward as much as possible, and hide from anyone who could peek through the window.

She had always been grateful to her years doing skating, but her flexibility was one of the things that she thanked the most for keeping.

She didn't know where they were going, or what they were going to do. But one thing was for sure: she trusted San and the uncertainty around him more than her ex boyfriend and whatever scene he could come up with. 

Taglist: @brown88

[heliconiius]

none of this below is going to be coherent or even in any kind of order. just a stupidly long & unorganised mess of thoughts that i've been bottling for awhile when i was being painfully (anxiously) slow at getting this blog together. chaotic rambles of things i'd love to explore more through writing in this portrayal of kevin and also just processing a bunch of things i feel about his character. <3 :D

everemore & the ravens - way to start off light. raven kevin is so interesting because we don't actively see it, but we also basically do in the aftermath of his struggle & him (still) unlearning unhealthy habits and traits. but just thinking about him not only initially having to adjust to life in the clutches of tetsuji & riko (which? considering he knew them before kayleigh dies, makes me wonder if kid him initially expected things to be easier in being left to them since they were somewhat familiar to him. and well.) but also the shift of his own personality/himself. he loses his mother as a child, i like to think he wasn't always this emotionally caged & disciplined, so what kind of person was he before that? how long did it take before he lost whatever person he was before, did anyone aside from riko ever get to know that kevin. whoever he may have been, we know it wasn't entirely wrung out of him because he wouldn't be as tender hearted as he is underneath.. all of that, presently. but what was it like joining the ravens & watching riko get progressively worse. all of the things kevin couldn't say to riko, took his anger & frustration out by verbally insulting the shit out of the other ravens instead, yeah but what was he like before that. just head explosive with thoughts of a young kevin before each year got worse & worse. (writing pre-canon him makes this fun to explore, but also why creating kevin's third verse was cool to think about. what person would he have been if he didn't grow up with the moriyamas and didn't have to call evermore home. even if the concern of them looms & he'd have to face it eventually, he'd definitely tackle it differently because he's not that same person. also makes me nervous for this prequel book.)

kayleigh - thinking about the drastic shift of him losing his mother so young & being instantly shoved into this pressure to play & being glued to riko's side. being old enough to emotionally feel affected by her loss, but getting no chance to mourn her. one day his mother is there & the next she isn't. likely not even getting enough answers surrounding her death, probably only suspecting foul play in her death when he reaches adulthood. it being mentioned how she was this fiery, passionate & direct individual, didn't seem like somebody who would be controlled, lived carefree. moriyamas getting rid of her & in a sense then getting back at her defiance by shaping kevin into what they want from him. yeah they control him for their own gain, but they're also controlling him in all the ways they couldn't control her. kevin being this cracked mirror of his mother because he holds the same passion, the same unrelenting drive, giving up isn't in his nature - but he learns to quieten his voice as he grows up with the moriyamas, where his mother wouldn't be silenced. learns the right things to say/not to say, where his mother wouldn't have thought twice. desensitised and passive to the abuse that happens to him & the people around him because silence is the safest (only) option. (we see his confidence to speak honestly grow overtime though, need to explore more of him being unapologetically himself in depth <33) grips onto memories of her that would slowly start to fade as he gets older, latches onto her letter. her letter. that comment jean makes that kevin probably wore away the writing of the letter with the amount of times he read it. screams. how many times did he read it and memorise her writing, hear her voice in his head while he read it, the ache of knowing this wasn't even addressed to him & he has so little of hers to call his so he refuses to let go of it. it seemed so sad that he barely had anything to remember her by, hence the headcanon inclusion of old notebooks & butterfly drawings in corners of her notes that he eventually carries on his skin. just the overall emptiness of losing her, ending up in an upbringing she'd have never wanted for him, being so disconnected from all that she was but loving her whole heartedly despite not knowing nearly as much as he wants to about her. playing because he needs to & because there is nothing else for him, but also playing to stay connected to her. in all three of his verses, her memory & existence haunts him & he misses a person he only briefly remembers.

grief, guilt, bravery & post canon - hell. kevin wears guilt like a second skin and grief is just a never-ending occurrence with him. the guilt of doing as drastically as he did by leaving & leaving behind people that he cares about. a undeniable betrayal to others in the process. & though he's so full of fear for so long after it, i don't think there is any regret in the action of leaving, only regret in those who were hurt at his expense. interesting play with how differently that could've happened. kevin's second verse kinda opens ways to consider other possibilities, but canonically he did the only thing he could do in that moment. crazy brave too - making the final stand to leave and severing shackles that are all he's known for as long as he can remember. the grief of his injury, the grief of realising all he's worked for could've potentially been undone in the injury (if not for his determination), the grief of thinking he wouldn't play again, the grief of leaving behind a place he knew as home even when it was as dysfunctional and abusive as it is, the grief of messing with promises he made to a friend. additionally, even the screwed up grief of riko's death - something to explore post canon. to mourn such a wicked & vile being wouldn't be understood by anyone else, but kevin spends his entire youth attached to the other. & while they were never even equals, in some messed up way this person was like a supposed brother to kevin who had no family otherwise. his alcoholism being a terrible coping mechanism throughout & more so post canon when it all must crash on him. i know he's hardest on himself, but it'd be nice to write him learn to forgive himself. to actually process years of tightly knit grief, confront the alcoholism. in doing so it would be nice to see him eventually build,, non exy connections too. (idc if s/akavic says he wouldn't make friends if they didn't have some interest in exy. im writing him & i think he would benefit from pals outside of the world of exy, to build an interest or two that isn't exy. that being said i latch on so hard to the information of kevin wanting to learn the piano one day!! from hands that have been playing a sport since childhood with this endless brutal violence to wanting to learn a mellow instrument that takes tender touch & care. kevin day you are deeply gentle to me. somebody teach him.) also going to be very fun to explore post canon right after all the events of the trilogy. pro-exy era kevin, the healing, the moving forward, the meeting of new people, other teams, other players. play to his fullest, be the best that he wants to be and thrive wonderfully. (additionally the progress of dynamics with the foxes & others post-canon, mending things with characters like jean/the possibility of other ravens he might've known.)

trauma/repressing his feelings - cannot imagine the weight of years & years of holding everything back, how it sits in his head unresolved. not just trauma & loss, but even passion to some extent. being a raven and playing so well but even then to a limit, as ironic as it sounds, because god forbid it's noticed that he's better than riko. and we know how that turns out when it's said aloud that he is. the only time he's honest is on the court in his expectations of others, but honesty in a personal sense? difficult, but not impossible. i explode to think of those few occassions when kevin seems to want to talk about riko & what was endured, but it doesn't get further. ( 'i know what he's like if you want to talk' / 'i can still hear him can you' followed up by a frowning 'even with me' when the convo topic is shut down. ) even the fact that he does speak of it in therapy, he wants!! to talk about it, wants to keep overcoming it. also feelings like, his sexuality is complex to him - i think that, in canon, kevin is too smart & observant to not have recognised any feelings that jean had for him when in the nest. but he's seen people like jean & jeremy in pre-canon, experience negativity for their sexuality being known. so i don't think he is oblivious, but i think he has deemed it safer to not make any feelings of his own known/or even process it for himself. i'd love to see him live for himself, understand himself, slowly be more open about things. it won't be easy, but i can see it being a gradual process. he is incredibly imperfect with a range of flaws and issues, he could be better, but he is also doing his best given his life's circumstances. he is so cool and brave and smart and his ability to see potential in people he meets and grows to care for is such a lovely trait his faith in people does not waver, screeches.

silly trivial - now. can i write him crack a smile. can he laugh once or twice. spare a bit of happiness please. i also think he likes crosswords. i don't know why, but since he clearly has the patience for memorising dates and numbers, i think he enjoys crosswords. i also think he should get a cat, they are very comforting beings. and god knows he needs that.

[violetsareblue-selfships]

and here's vi's that i just got ^^! this one's a lot more legible but i can do a transcript too.

What It's Responding to:

To my dearest, Vi,

If you're reading this, it seems you found it. Guess I know you well, after all. I'm sure you've noticed that Cait and I have a habit of leaving each other letters around the manor. That started when we were kids. When she was too busy for us to hang out, I'd hand over a letter to her mother and usually had one to pick up and read from her. I wanted to include you in this little tradition of ours.

You know we adore you, right? Cait and I might have had something good, something comfortable, before we met you and everything happened, but you bring so much light to our lives. Hah, ironic that you call me sunshine when you might as well be the sun yourself.

I know it has to be odd to join in an already-established dynamic, but we're both so grateful that it hasn't stopped you from loving us. I want you to know that I love you just as much as I love Cait, even if I haven't known you nearly as long. That's how special you are. You've managed to captivate me (hell, both of us) in such a short amount of time.

Do you even know how possessive I used to be of Caitlyn? I'm sure we've mentioned it, but still. Any time someone flirted with her, I didn't like it, and yet you show up and start calling her cupcake and suddenly I'm fine with it? I barely knew you and you managed to make yourself an exception. Hell, while I was waiting for you during that council meeting, I started sketching you alongside my doodles of Cait. Cait had been my muse for years before then and you managed to steal the spotlight in a few hours.

So, please, know how important you are to us. I know Cait well enough that I can speak for her here, but you matter so much to us. Now that we have you, we wouldn't be able to go back to just being the two of us. Not when we know how much better life is with you at our side.

I love you, Vi, more than I could hope to capture in a single letter.

Forever yours,

April

P.S. Don't forget how beautiful we think you are. You're absolutely stunning, and I hope we manage to make you feel that way. In any case, be prepared for an onslaught of kisses the next time I see you <3

--------

Transcript:

Sunshine,

You're a sweetheart, you know that? I didn't think it was possible to be so affected by words on a paper. But I should've known that anything from you would hit me right behind the ribs. You (and Cait) have full ownership over that part of me, anyways. You have since the moment we met.

I spent so much time alone. Such a big chunk of my life occurred in a cell with very little sunlight and cold cement walls. I became a shell of a person. I lost hope, lost my light… I lost myself. I never thought I'd get out, let alone find a home or someone to love me.

But that's exactly what you and Caitlyn have given me. And I will never, ever understand how I got so lucky.

It was a strange, honestly scary, experience to make my way into your and Cait's relationship. You never made me feel unwelcome, but I was terrified I'd ruin things or that you'd realize you were better off just the two of you. Of course, that didn't happen, but I was so scared I'd fuck it up. I never had (and to this day still haven't) felt anything like what I feel for you two. It's equal parts wonderful and terrifying.

I'm so happy with you. Happier than I ever thought possible. And I'm doing to do everything in my power not to screw it up. I want to be just as good to you and Cait as you are to me. It's what you deserve at the very least, princess.

I love you. To the moon and back, I love you. You make every moment worth it. Thank you for giving me a chance. For including me in your life, your relationship, even your adorable letter writing habit. I'll make sure you never regret it.

Yours Forever,

Vi

P.S. You don't need to say it. You always make me feel beautiful. I won't say no to kisses, though.

[bicayaya]

My dearest Beatrice,

I hope this letter finds you well.

I am writing to send you my wishes for a happy birthday, my soul sister. Your birthday is a joyful day for me, for it is the day we celebrate the life of someone very precious to me. And even if we are far, I hope you can feel my love and intentions through these words. I pray to the Goddess everyday to bless you and your family, and in special days like this I allow myself to be greedy and ask for double happiness, love, health and prosperity for you. I never forget to be grateful as well. You are gift to me, and your joy is my joy.

This letter may arrive after Luna's. She couldn't wait to send hers, and asked Liam to include it along with her father's letters to Rhodolite. He never says no to her. I hope you didn't think it meant I wouldn't send you one, or that I, Keith and the kids wouldn't send you gifts. You are important to all of us, and always bring us happiness whenever we see you.

Aster is sending you a pink orchid brooch because it's pretty like you. Helia made you a good luck charm. Iris wanted to give you a pair of gloves that I believe are more suitable for Winter. Aurora and Cosmos drew you pictures of everyone together in a tea party, in their own little style. Keith's gift will go with his letter, and I hope you like it (Yves helped him choose, but don't tell them that I told you - I just wanted to let you know once again that I'm happy he is a good and thoughtful husband to you).

Thank you for your presence in our lives. And thank you for being my best friend during all this time. You had received me with open arms in Rhodolite and had showed me nothing but love and kindness ever since. Words cannot express how precious you are to me. You'll always have a home in my heart, my dear sister.

Hope you have a great and beautiful birthday, and that all your wishes come true.

Happy birthday!

With love,

Maeve Howell

My dearest Maeve,

First of all, Luna is a gem. I figured she wanted to be the first one to send me something, she’s always so sweet. All your kids are!

Thank you so much for the birthday wishes, my dear soul sister. If you notice a few tear stains on this letter - no, you did not! Just kidding, you of alll people know how emotional I am, and reading your words made me feel so loved I couldn’t help a few tears - happy tears - from falling. Thank you for so many years of friendship, you’re a sister the universe gifted me with. I can’t wait to travel to Jade again to see you and your family.

Please say to your kids how much I loved all their gifts. I’ll treasure them forever, they’re all lovely. Aurora and Cosmos’ drawings are already framed in my library, Helia’s lucky charm is in my bedside table and I already told Luna that I’m wearing the perfume she made me almost every day. I’ll saving Aster’s brooch for a special occasion, maybe I can wear it at a summer festival there in Jade? And Iris’ gloves… well, they’re well kept in my wardrobe so I can wear them during the winter, they match perfectly with one of my favorite coats.

I’m sending a little note to Keith attached to this letter, to thank him for the beautiful gift. (Don’t worry, the fact that Yves helped him is a secret between you and I! Our husbands can be so adorable, am I right? Hihi).

I don’t even know how to explain how much I loved your gift. It’s so stunning! I can’t imagine the amount of trouble it must have been to send such a delicate and precious glass piece all the way to Rhodolite. It’s already decorating our house, and now it looks even better. You know me too well, thank you for the thoughtful gift.

Thanks again, my dear friend. For everything you do for me. I’m missing you lots.

With love,

Beatrice Kloss.

[roxy-bat-wolf-pack]

😈Vampire Eddie/ Reader ⚡️

Readers gender is not mentioned

Oneshot

This is being posted before the release of the final season. This story is operating under the fan theory that Eddie will be brought back as vecnas right hand. Based on the D&D campaign being played in the show.

Left Unsaid

I groaned at the sound of my alarm. This had to be the fifth time I hit snooze. If only the action led to any actual sleep. Instead, I just lay and watched the flicking red letters.

9:25

How does time go by like this? I glared at the clock, remembering how Chrissy had confided in me about seeing the grandfather clock. Back then, I didn't listen. I was too blinded by the news that she had been spending one on one time with Eddie. I sighed, silently scolding myself, realizing how stupid I was for letting the jealousy get to me. I shut my eyes tight, trying not to let my mind wonder to this past year.

So many people lost so suddenly. So many things left unsaid. The guilt of it all was eating away at me. My mind flashed to what Robin told me the other day, and although I was awake, the memory felt like a fever dream.

"Steve said he saw him, that he's somehow alive, but it's all wrong. He's not like himself. Vecna has some sort of hold on him."

"That can't be true. We all saw his body. He's..." I chocked on my words. " He's gone, and I- we just have to deal with that."

She looked down solemnly, and it was strange to see her face so serious.

"Steve said," She paused as if she was trying to think of the right thing to say. "He said that Eddie is under Vecna's control. That he's been, I dont know, resericted somehow, but it's not really him? Like who he was is still dead."

I nodded. Despite my denial of it all, I trusted Steve and Robin. God knows they have saved my life more than once this past year.

"And Steve thinks it was Ed- Kas?" I corrected using Dustin's chosen name. The name from one of the characters from our campaign, "that is reporting back to Vecna. All our plans?"

The question from my memories went unanswered as I forced myself to sit upright, ripping the memory from my mind. Angrily, I grabbed the nearest pair of jeans and slipped them on. I didn't even look at the shirt I reached for from my closet before slipping it over my head. My socks slipped on the carpeted stairs down to my living room. Mom was looking in the fridge and glanced over its door at me.

"Going to Wayne's place?" She questioned. She tried to hide the worry in her voice, but it still shown through as she glanced me up and down. I paused at the entry to the kitchen, looking wide-eyed at her. It was as if an invisible barrier was up between us.

"How did you know?" I muttered stupidly, but she just smiled at me.

"Oh, um.. the foil covered casserole in the fridge." She answered casually before moving the gallon of milk in her hand to the table. She set a box of cereal next to it for my little brother. "I thought I heard you in the kitchen last night. What is it this time? Green bean? Sweet potato?"

I sighed, sneaking up behind her and slipping the tray from the fridge.

"Chicken pot pie." I answered simply.

"As a casserole?" She questioned.

"Uh yea, he needs more protein." I answered back. Before she could give me her usual retort about how what he really needed was to cook for himself, and how I shouldn't be helping someone who raised a "murderer", I slipped out the door. I heard a faint,"Be safe, honey!" and it only made me scoot across the yard to my car faster.

Wayne had wanted desperately to move, yet his finances wouldn't allow it. Especially since he put so much of his m money in trying to recover Eddie's body. Not bringing it back from the upside down had grown to be another one of my regrets. Because he couldn't move, he put a fair amount of effort into repairing the trailer. I think it helped him to pretend it was a different place.

I noticed the door had changed color since my last visit and hoped the glossy, green paint had fully dried when I knocked.

Wayne opened the door quicker than usual. I must have caught him right before he left for work. But instead of saying his usual greeting, he just stared at me. Well, perhaps not right at my face. His gaze was hard on my torso. I glanced down and immediately closed my eyes. Embarrassment and frustration ran through me. The shirt I grabbed this morning was Eddie's Slayer shirt. The bottom I had haphazardly tucked into my high waist jeans, making the letters look all crooked and cutting off the bottom of the y.

"Mr. Munson, I'm so sorry! I should've asked permission. I didn't even realize what shirt I grabbed this mo-"

"No, it's alright." He said softly, stopping my ramble. He stepped to the side. "Come on in."

I sighed before stepping inside.

"He has more shirts. Really, they're just collecting dust. You and that Henderson boy are the only ones who are interested in any of his things." He gestered to Eddie's room. "Feel free to grab more. It uh...it keeps his memory alive, you know?"

I set the casserole on the small kitchen counter. If only he knew how much of Eddie's things I had collected.

"That's ok, Mr. Munson. I actually have to go soon." Before he could respond, a noise drew our attention to the back window. Like someone was lurking just under the window sill.

"Damned kids!" He muttered under his breath before turning to me. "I would think after a year they would start leaving me alone. I guess between what happened to your friend here and Eddie. Hell, the whole towns gone to shit with that earthquake."

"It's ok. I'll go tell them to leave this time." I started, hoping to spare him from the pain of dealing with the hecklers. He simply smiled.

"Thanks for doing so much to help me. Does my heart good to know Eddie had such good friends."

I gave him a sidehug before leaving.

The door closed behind me, and I looked down at my trembling hands. A small green smear of paint covered my knuckles.

I took a deep breath and circled the property. No one was there, but they couldn't have gotten far.

I looked around and saw out of the corner of my eye the faintest movement in the tree line. I hesitantly stepped across the tall grass that lined the woods.

"Hey, leave him alone. I don't care who you are. He doesn't deserve to be stalked like that."

Nobody answered. I stepped deeper into the forest, the mobile homes behind me growing smaller.

"Hey! You heard me? No ghost! No portal to Hell! No murderers! You got that?"

As my voice died down , I realized just how quiet it was. My heart quickened. It was as if some kind of natural instinct was taking over me , and it screamed through my veins to run. A twig snapped behind me, and I whipped around to see him.

It was him, yet at the same time, it wasn't.

Eddie stood there, his clothes ragged and torn. He looked wrong with his signature vest missing. Despite his ragged clothing, he looked...healthy? When Steve said he saw him, that he was brought back from the dead, I had pictured a reanimated corpse. Thin, pale, fangs. His face had color, his hair was just as big, he stood just as tall.

The only indication that something was wrong was his eyes. They were dead, glazed over, somehow looking at me and not at the same time. I was hit in the chest with pain at the memory of his smile. The way his eyes crinkled at the ends. We had just been staring at each other, neither speaking.

"Eddie?" I tried my voice, and it wasn't as strong as I had hopped. He said nothing.

"Eddie, do you remember me?"

Some faint memory of Steve's warning lingered in the back of my mind. He's dangerous now. Was everything I was saying just going back to Vecna? I saw him look down at my shirt. His shirt. He inhaled deeply, as if he could smell his own scent on it, as if he was searching for something.

"Yea, it's yours," I answered the question he didn't ask.

"Dustin and I went through your things, you know, to help your uncle out. Some of it was too precious to put in a box."

He stared back up to me, and as our eyes locked. My body screamed at me. My legs begging me to let them move, let them take me far from here.

"I've been helping him. He's a mess. We all are."

The words felt stupid. I had so much to tell him. My mind swimming with words, struggling between them to form a sentence.

I miss you

RUN

I'm sorry

RUN

it should have been me

RUN

"I love you!"

The words came out without me realizing. Fast and dangerous. His eyes stayed locked on mine, somehow more intense, while still remaining empty. The words started to spill out of me like vomit.

"I've loved you for a long time, and I regret not telling you before. God, I don't even know if you can hear me. I know, I know you liked Chrissy, that's fine. I just needed you to know how I felt. It's been eating me up insi-"

My words stopped abruptly as he was suddenly in my face. In the span of a blink, he went from two yards away to almost nose to nose with me.

He inhaled deeply, and I wasn't sure if it was a threat or not. His head dipped down, almost as if he was leaning in for a kiss, but my body shouted DANGER. Then he passed my lips and moved to my neck.

This was it. He was going to kill me. My mind, body, and soul could end up anywhere, and I had thrown it all away to confess to a boy who was dead, who couldn't hear me. I closed my eyes shut and waited for pain. Instead, he inhaled deeply again.

His body relaxed. The tension I didn't realize he was holding floated off his body like steam. His eyes were suddenly back to mine, face to face, but this time they were alive. They were Eddie's eyes.

"You love me?" He questioned. His voice was weak. As if it hadn't been used in a year.

If it wasn't for the wetness of my cheeks, I wouldn't have realized I was crying. One of his hands came up slowly, as if his own body was fighting the motion, and he brushed the tears from my cheeks.

He tried to speak again. "I...lo..v"

And then he was gone. My brain hardly possessed the sudden absence of him. So fast, his voice still lingered in the air. His smell, holding me in place. I fell to my knees. My body shaking, adrenaline rushing through me.

I wasn't sure how long I had been laying there when Dustin found me.

"Dude, are you ok? Steve, over here!"

I barely heard footsteps shuffling through the leaves on the forest floor.

" Dude, everyone's been looking for you." Someone's voice said as I was lifted from the ground.

I faintly realized they were taking me to Wayne's house. Part of me registered that he wasn't home. Dustin must have used the key he took months ago. They sat me on the couch and threw a coat around me to try and warm me. I hadn't realized I was cold.

"I saw him." I mumbled

"What?" Steve asked, leaning closer to hear as he rubbed my arms, trying to warm me.

"I saw him." I said again, no louder than before.

"Saw who?" He asked, growing frustrated.

Dustin looked at me, eyes widening, in realization.

"You saw Eddie?" It wasn't a question, at least not one that needed a response.

They suddenly stopped trying to warm me, both in shock. I looked up to see the fridge across the room. It was decorated with Eddie's band practice schedule, Metallica, and Dio magnets, but right in the center was a photo.

Hellfire club. The whole group smiling. Eddie and I stood there, his arm around my shoulders. I had always seen it as friendly, but now as my mind raced I wondered if their was more to his actions, more to his touch, more to driving me home late after D&D, more to inviting me to his band practice, more to his weak voice trying so desperately to tell me something,

"I lo-v-" the sound of it replaying in my mind.

I looked to Dustin and put all the determination I had into my voice.

"We are going to save him."

That was a promise.

✨️Authors note✨️: Hey loves, thanks for reading! I just want to say that I take requests🦇

[thebottomfromhell]

Hi I think I have an idea can I please ask for a yandere daki

With a ko reader/darling

Or she's at first jealous of ko but slowly she

grows attached to her because she she is very nice and she sings for daki

whenever she is irritated and she gets very jealous whenever ko things for someone else even if it's a customer

She is an OC of mine you can find more information about her on my page here on Tumblr and you don't have to take this request if you don't want to

Ok, we have already talked about it, since Ko is, like Daki, a minor that doesn't age, I have allowed this ship. Daki will be using the name of Akanehime at the start; "Akane" from "deep red" or "dye from the rubia plant" and "Hime" from "princess" (we are told that canonly she always used hime in her oiran name). Also, I'm doing no sexual content in this one and there is an open ending.

Also I changed this things a bit since Daki will not show her feelings directly to Ko and narration, even in third person, will be guided mostly by her PoV.

Requested OC x yandere!Daki

Warnings: Implied Cannibalism, Child prostitution/trafficking (nothing explicit is done to the girls in terms of sexual content, it's no worse than in the anime/manga), Death of not-character, and Unbalanced/Unhealthy pre-relationships.

Akanehime seems... odd. That is all Ko can think once she is sold into the new household. It's clear that the girl doesn't realize what is going on or what did she get herself into, at least not fully. She gets it, really. She knows what the job is about, she knows why she is there, and she knows how the process is going. But... she is genuinely understimating, not thinking of, other things, like how much she would have to spend there, what others could do to her, what it really means to be a girl into a whorehouse. Maybe it's on purpose, maybe she just wants to stay positive, or maybe she is still a girl, no matter the number of years she had lived.

200 hundred years, she has felt the amount of years pass, but she doesn't feel any different. That is good, of course, why wouldn't it be? She is still herself. She is always herself. Ko was told to wear a simple kimono, it's a pretty one, but she hates it. It is not her style, not what she likes to wear, it's too loose in the wrong parts and too tight in other wrong parts. She tried to protest (kindly and respectfully, of course), but the second she opened her mouth the Oiran, who was watching her face sopke first, shutting her up, turning her head to the side with a frown before berating the other. "If you are going to complain about clothes we might as well keep you naked and throw you to the streets! Don't be stupid and take advantage of your pretty face if you don't want to be fed to the wolves, you damn brat!"

Ko wants to protest at her... everything. That she is not a brat, that Akanehime is not her boss, that they can't treat her like that, but in the end she decides to keep her voice down for now and wear that ugly, ugly, kimono. She doesn't even know what is wrong with her. Akanehime walks as she owned the whole city, is awful to everyone but the customers, shuts herself at daylight and dissapearing some nights, complaining over the smallest mistakes.... she is the worst.

Thankfully, or not, Ko doesn't have to be a maid to the house for that long. She managed to attrack some attention fast with her looks, but what people liked the most was her voice. Courtesans are in charge of the entertanment industry of the district, that includes more than laying in bed and open herself for men. They must be able to also serve as performers, acting, storytelling, reciting poems, dancing, playing instruments, writting letters, painting, serving wine and food. The woman, the girls, in this place, are nothing but well educated and talented. And Ko fits into the singing (of course, for now she can't perform in a private chamber, she might have that talent. But she hasn't memorised the plays. She doesn't know how to choose wine. She still lacks some discipline).

She sings with the other women, who try to teach them how to play (mostly in vain) at the same time they hide her, since she needs the experience but doesn't show the cold yet modest personality expected from a girl of her class. Still, those woman start talking between each other, praising Ko's voice, and those praises reaches the ears in the head of the household, including the best beauty.

"What does she have that she is so special? Any girl in here should have one talent at least. Her writting is still as bad as an illiterate! Her caligraphy looks as ink spills! She doesn't play any instrument without ruining the song she is singing! Stop acting as if she is more than another piece of meat in this place!" Other women and girls just look away, Ko is not that talentless as the higher ranked Oiran describes her, but for one side it's true that she still got plainty of training left to do and for the other... who is going to contradict Akanehime? That Oiran that is described as twisted as she is beautiful, who mistreats with the same hands that enamore so many powerful men.

If one has to choose one of the two courtesans to side, it will obviously be Akanehime! That is why when she calls Ko into her chambers the others don't warn her about the dangers of the high ranked Oiran, but just watch her with pity as they guide her to that place. "Did you want to talk to me, Madame Akanehime?" Tries as respectful as she knows, but... Ko was not raised between Japanese customs, so her bow is not in the correct angle, her voice is just a tad bit too loud and she is some steps too close to the Tayû. "How dare you?! Have you been raised by savages? Is this how you prove your worth to me?!" Starts berating the girl unti she gets tired. "Whatever, just show me that singing the instructors are so obssesed with." And other choive Ko, who is very frustrated at having to keep quiet as she was scolded without any explanation, has? So Ko sings with her heart at her sleeve, mostly for herself, trying to ignore the other courtesan is also there and listening, just wanting to pretend she has a time for herself. And it's beautiful.

"Get out." Is the first thing Ko hears once she finished the song, the Tayû glaring dagger at her. "Excus-" she gets once again interrupted. "I said GET OUT!" And Ko does, still not understanding the other. After that, Akanehime forbid the other women to train her in her singing, to not let her sing at public, and that she would personally supervise said training in private. Everyone pities even more the new girl, even Ko pitied herself, but styed strong against the odds. Thankfully... Akanehime started to be less cruel towards her. Even more strange as she wasn't teaching her anything.

She didn't correct her or guide her, didn't force to memorize those sappy songs about poems of nature that compare women to flowers, let her to just not hold the shamisen, doesn't demand more volume or different tones. For some time Ko even suspected that Akanehime didn't know how to sing and that is ehy she was so angry at her singing.... she was proved wrong once she mamaged to spy her when she was playing for a client... so why was she letting Ko sing whatever she wanted however she wanted? Specially know that she is taking her in times that interrupt her training.

Everything is just so odd. Each night she spends less time with anyone else and more with the Tayû, there were even days she was invited the whole day on Akanehime's lockdown. The higher ranked Oiran offered tea and some pastries "You spend a lot of time entertaining me, you deserve these rewards", but could help but notice that the more experience courtesan never ate. At all. "I won't have to... not eat when I get to the hiher ranks, will I?" If she gets in the higher ranks, at this point. But Akanehime tells her that she has a particular diet, one that she can only taste at night... odd.... "There was a clinet asking for you a few days ago, seemed fixated that you stopped appearing in the background.... I will invite him over this new moon, then I will show you."

It seemed like a bad idea to accept, Ko didn't want to meet any client and as vague as the other Oiran was being... it made her nervious. But she was so curious, she wanted to understand better, hated to be left on the dark. "This is a bad idea, ne. Daki, do you know what you are doing?" Ko hears a male voice on the other side of the door, the client, she supposes. But his voice is ugly, she sounds almost sick, suddenly being too afraid to meet him. "Calm down onii-chan, I have everything under control." Wait... "onii-chan"? "Daki"?

Ko peek as she opens some inches the door as quiet as she can, and freezes when there is a male corpse on the other side, obi shashes in the room as... "Akanehime" holds herself almost naked, making Ko blush of embarrasment. But there is also the "onii-chan", a monster that looks sick and deformed as he speaks. "Don't worry, our guest is already here. And it's not like she will need to tell this to anyone else." The Oiran, Daki turns around to make eye contact with the 200 year old girl through the peak space. "She is mine, after all."

[sobeksewerrat]

you know…. I wouldn’t mind if you talked about Zipp in your rewrite idea that you mentioned 👉👈

...You will live to regret what you have just unleashed. Not only are you asking about terrible built up brainrot, you are also asking about my second favourite in the rewrite.

(P.S I am working off the movie and Make Your Mark here since my little sister refuses to watch Tell Your Tale and doesn't know about the comics and can barely even read, and I only watch MLP with her)

Anyways, LONG ANSWER INCOMING.

Before beginning with Zipp, I need to fix up some wordbuilding so bear with me!!

I won't go into full detail because that needs its own post but I will go basic overview of Maretime Bay, Zephyr Heights and Bridlewood.

So, in the movie Izzy mentions how unicorns thought all Earth Ponies were dumb asf. And we also saw Canterlogic tech to counter that.

Well, in my rewrite, earth ponies (being extremely paranoid about unicorns and pegasi and having no magic ever) advanced themselves and made a lot of technology basically to combat them. Eventually, the became the most advanced of the ponykinds, and they are the only place with WiFi and stuff (if I am forced to keep it).

For Bridlewood, I will lean HEAVILY into the superstitious stuff. I imagine unicorns will fall into stories about magic being evil and start living with nature and not really advance much due to the amount of fear generated by them losing the main thing that helped them everyday.

Now: Zephyr Heights. I don't like that it is in the clouds. I barely remember G4 (I was a little kid when it came out and I won't rewatch it). However, I remember vaguely that pegasi had a special type of magic that allowed them to walk on clouds and live on them.

Since G5 is a direct sequel where they have no magic- that literally wouldn't make any sense. Instead, they will live on the mountain in the movie and somewhat adapt to it.

And for how it is I want it to be a 70s and early 2000s mashup, because I think that would be cool (seriously no other reason sometimes you gotta pick aesthetics over logic, that or lean heavy into medieval royalty shit. nothing is set completely in stone with the worldbuilding)

Still sorta figuring out how the "only royals can fly" lie stuff will work out but whatever.

Anyway, ZEPHYRINA!! I love her omg.

-> Her Role as A Princess:

Definitely hates it. Not to borrow too much from Dash, but she is definitely a free spirit. Unlike her mother and sister, she doesn't like the spotlight and doesn't make many public appearancs, so the kingdom views her as a mysterious enigma, and she is the subject of MANY conspiracy theories (which are amped up to 1000 after their lie is exposed and the whole thing about working with other ponykinds to restore magic comes up).

She definitely reads all the conspiracies about her, out of pure curiosity and to see how accurate they are.

I sadly don't have this part fully fleshed out as I am conflicted between having her family permanently dethroned or not (on one hand, great drama. On the other, it wouldn't feel right not having Pipp as a princess) so moving on-

-> Detective Zipp Storm! (Also bit of backstory)

I am so excited to talk about this!! (I am an Ace attorney, Danganronpa, Detective Conan and Ahmed Khalid Tawfik fan, of course I am excited abt mystery)

[Pre-Make Your Mark/Movie]:

You know how Izzy got Sunny's lantern and that's why she went to Maretime Bay? Well, why the fuck doesn't Zipp get one too?

Basically, after Izzy recieves the lantern, she is beyond excited to have new pony friends! So, she makes her own lantern with its own letter and sends it off.

Only this letter reaches Zipp, who was sneaking out of the palace trying to practice a way to fly.

And that one letter leaves Zipp confused. She was sheltered her whole life thinking unicorns and earth ponies were evil and wanted to kill the pegasi and she was skeptical of the letter, even as a child.

She hid it away and would reread it every once in a while, thinking over the message inside about how she had friends in Bridlewood. She was sheltered and kept inside the Palace almost her whole life, she didn't really have any friends. The letter made her feel less lonely, somehow.

That tapped into her ever-growing curiosity and she wanted to research more about unicorns.

So Zipp would spend hours in the Royal library (which will definitely be bigger in my rewrite) digging up old books on Equestria before losing magic (since most newer ones were about her pegasi ancestors exclusively). Her main objectives were to find out more about the other ponykinds and to find a way to restore the pegasi's ability to fly and return to living on the clouds.

She would also stare at old murals and statues at stuff, analysing the shit out of them.

That's why she wouldn't be very scared of Sunny and Izzy when they wind up in Zephyr Heights (I am planning to keep the movie's general plot similar).

I wanna avoid spoiling too much of the movie and the series' plots and we're moving to "still unsure of this/planning" territory.

So we're gonna do this part with bullet points

Zipp definitely gets a design shift between the movie and make your mark. I am still planning out both of the designs (mainly as gijnkas cuz I can't draw horses)

Zipp and Misty's relationship will probably be the most fleshed out. They had so much potential. Zipp starts out being skeptical, starts trusting Misty a bit after realizing she's just awkward, they have a few heart-to-hearts, they become really close, then BAM! The reveal happens and Zipp is just feels absolutely betrayed and stupid and maybe cries a bit. And afterwards they start repairing their relationship bit by bit, but it takes a while since Zipp isn't really willing to go back to being close friends again.

I want Zipp to develop a stronger friendship with Sunny and Izzy, since they were both technically the reason she started breaking away from the prejudice against other ponies ingrained into her as a kid and made her feel less lonely. Zipp and Sunny could easily bond over research about Twilight and the old Mane Six and cross reference eachother.

For Zipp and Izzy, I imagine that Zipp would generally be very stressed all the time, and Izzy would always try to get her to relax a bit (and maybe get her to do craft projects with her). They just kinda hang out, yknow? Idk I just want more platonic fluff.

Pipp and Zipp's relationship- well, you'll see once I start posting about it 😈

Hitch and Zipp will probably have the same relationship in the show and movie, I can't really find any way to improve it, honest.

Anyways, I am so sorry this took so long to answer, nd sorry if the answer isn't satisfying I've just been very busy.

Hopefully I will get to talk more about it soon <3

@cringelordofchaos

[littletraumamemories]

The Tale of my First Job Interview

Kids can start working daytime/after-school jobs here when they turn 13. So naturally, because she had a large amount of debt and struggled to put food on the table (yet she was a massive hypocrite about money - more in another post), I was forced to apply for a job a couple months before I turned 13. It was an after-school newspaper delivery route in the area we lived in and the application was sent through email. Keep in mind that email itself was a big point of trauma, because we couldn't afford internet at home yet (this was 2005) and went to an internet café to send it. I remember exactly where the PC was located, as she chose the most remote one in the area so she could "guide me through the process without anyone catching passwords and such" - anyone who's been emotionally abused knows that's just a cover for "I chose this PC so I can whisper-yell at you in public." Anyway, I hid my tears on the way out from that café. My cell phone number was included in the email application so they'd call me back if they wanted me to come in for an interview.

Now, at the same time, it was very common for newspapers and magazines to cold call people and push their subscription services on them. This kind of telemarketing isn't really a thing anymore, luckily. So since she trained me from age 8 to answer her business phones, she just added "if someone unknown calls and it's from a newspaper/magazine/someone selling stuff, put the phone down and leave it there while waiting for me to pick it up at my leisure" which, as a traumatized and obedient child, I followed to the letter.

Back to the job interview process. One afternoon while she was working downstairs and I was making dinner, my phone rang and I picked it up to hear "Hello, this is [name] from [newspaper], am I talking to [me]?" So I did what she had taught me and left the phone sitting there while I found her.

When she took my phone and spoke to the guy on the other end, she wouldn't let me hear what she was saying after she finished freaking out to him about "stupid daughter didn't realize this was in relation to the job." She went out to the balcony and closed the door so I couldn't hear a word, and with that familiar angry face told me to stay in the kitchen and watch the food. A few minutes passed, she came in, and told me "this was the job offer. You have an interview next week." but she made it sound like I had just ordered her execution.

The interview went well, I started working very soon after turning 13, and every single paycheck was transferred to her personal bank account before I had a chance to use any of it. (I had my own bank account and card at this point because it was a prerequisite made by the employer or something, but even though I legally owned my money, my mother had full access to my accounts.)

And every time I came home from work saying I was tired, she always snapped back at me to one-up me in the suffering olympics... Such a gem of a mother!

[ssamou]

LOCATION: GOLDEN CLOSET STUDIO

Golden Closet. Where else could this riddle lead to? The words speak of intimacy and love made from music. This is, after all, the place where a lot of firsts took place; first kiss, first time doing anything sexual, first loves, first girlfriends/boyfriends. It all happened here, in Jeongguk's treasured work place.

This room holds a lot of memories to it, and gazing around you spot an empty room aside from a letter and a familiar rose-gold chain with a little "J" dangling from it sitting on top resting untouched on the chair of his studio. Walking over, you pick up the chain and run your finger over the face of the letter before grabbing the next note and opening it.

It reads:

"Ah.. we're here, finally. Surely you knew this would come up at some point, right? I had to include it, and no it's not because it's the place we became one for the first time—it's so much deeper than that. There's a lot of firsts here for us both; first kiss, first love, first time.. first partner. I look back here with warmth and love. Not because we made love, but because it's the place where I realize that, yeah, you know I can really fall in love with this girl. And I did. Not even a month later I was irrevocably in love with you, Chaewon. I wish I could include the place I first told you I loved you, but you'd be right back where we started.. and it would make this adventure a tad too long. Forgive me for pushing that detail aside, okay?" ─── ⋆⋅ ♡ ⋅⋆ ─── In a world of capes, both furry and bright, Our story started after the movie's delight. Where we laughed, cuddled, and shared in the thrill, In the dim light, our love started to instill. In the realm of action, where heroes unite, Our adventure unfolded, just us in the night. To find the next clue, to the destination you'll embark, Where we watched "Super Pets," in the back row, hearts sparked.

I know you know this one~ What's the answer?

♡ 메시지 𓂃 ⋆ #koobie's scavenger hunt??

answer: the theater where you bought us private seats for a kids movie we didn't even pay attention to.

it took her a bit to reach this destination since it was in a different district—but she knew all the shortcuts and in/out's of the place, that it didn't take her more than a few moments to reach the door of something her body naturally walks to.. of course with her two cute ducks following after her with their quiet whispers.

this room held a lot of memories for her. probably only second to his apartment when it came to him. their short-lived friendship started and ended in this room. their love for one another began here, too. everything she could think to name happened here. just how much stake this small room had in her mind is something she could never fully grasp. it's a lot. an idea she wouldn't ever be able to explain to someone.

chaewon entered the room by herself, the natural smell he radiates filling her up and making her warm, though it feels slightly bitter since she seems to already miss being wrapped up in his arms. it doesn't take much to find the chain and letter wrapped cutely in the center of his desk.

of course, this letter was no different from the rest. it made her heart swell up in bundles of heat as he talked about the origin of their relationship.. something that's insane for her to think about now. even for the last comment, she's nodding her head with the thought "it's okay," skipping over her mind.

after a bit of glancing around the room and running her fingers over the various different objects (including the plentiful amount of squirtle plushies), she finally leaves the room and closes the door behind her. at this point in time her excitement is making her nerves run wild; but she knew where to go to next, that was just as obvious as the previous clues have been.